John Gibson: The doctor will see you now ...

I tend not to linger in doctors’ waiting rooms. Always the chance you’ll contract something nasty. Matter of fact, I could be carrying something myself I shouldn’t be sharing with somebody else. In ten minutes (and usually it’s ten minutes with the doc) a lot of damage can be done.

Ten minutes seem to be the allotted span now. Our hard-pressed doctors – though generously rewarded – can’t spare more then ten minutes.

Try this course of antibiotics, they’ll recommend. Boots is just along the road but their pharmacists can take 20 minutes or more before they shout out your name with the right potion.

And mind how you go in shambolic Shandwick Place, by the way. An ambulance can take a long time to find you if the tram works traumatise you.

More about doctors’ waiting rooms coming soon in this column. Meantime, could this be a touch of the dreaded lurgy I’ve got coming on? Trust me, I’m not a doctor.

Can it be true?

. . . that Adele’s vocals are not quite in tune with her legs, if you see what I mean?

. . . that Michel Legrand has just turned 80 and can I just say merci, merci monsieur for so much memorable music?

. . . that employees face a £1 daily charge to park at their workplace. Nottingham’s done it, Bristol’s about to do it. Edinburgh next?

. . . that Frank Gerstenberg was principal of George Watson’s College from 1985 to 2001? Frank was 71 last week.

. . . that football’s top refs are trousering £840 a match? They tried not to have the whistle blown on them.