John Gibson: Butch made a better job of it than me

Watch it over Christmas, The Young James Herriot, the BBC’s three-part drama, and see if the young bloods are up to it. I suspect they’re not.

Reminding me, though, of the time the real James Herriot spent a day in Edinburgh when he was at his peak, a household name with viewers for All Creatures Great and Small.

Our cocker spaniel, Butch, was also at his peak and was introduced to the author. Such a clever dog that he took over this column for a week. He did such a good job that readers wrote to my editor saying Butch should write the column permanently. Wish you were still with us now.

Do your duty

Oh calamity! Kate and Wills will be apart for six weeks next spring. Orff to the Falklands to tangle with the Argies should they suicidally dare to cut up rough.

Six weeks, good lord! Some poor sods did six YEARS in a real war. A word about that in the ears of the Duke and Duchess wouldn’t go amiss There are books about it. Recommended bedtime reading for the royal duo.

The gap years

Surprises me not one jot. Hundreds of pre-school toddlers are having rotting teeth pulled. Such extractions in Scotland last year numbered 620 bairns.

When you see mothers clearly much more absorbed in their mobiles than their offspring, shutting them up by stuffing crisps, sweets and sugar-loaded fizzy drinks into their mouths, Scotland’s school children have some of the most dastardly dental records in Europe.

Bairns in the classroom with falsers, slipping them into tumblers under the desk. Imagine!