Drumlanrig

Snippets from the past week in the Scottish political sphere

IS THERE A TRUTH DOCTOR IN THE HOUSE?

The election of Johann Lamont could lead to a changing of the guard among those shadowy spin doctors whose job it is to divert journalists from the noble business of truth seeking. One such figure is Simon Pia, former diarist for The Scotsman, and perennial survivor of Labour leadership crises who this time round is said to be “considering his options”. There remain hopes that Pia will regain the moral certitude of his former profession and spill the beans to the nearest available news outlet (for a small fee) on Labour’s internal strife if and when he leaves. Meanwhile, Lamont is on the lookout for someone of calibre. Asked yesterday about who her new spin doctor would be, she insisted that she would be seeking a “truth doctor” instead. That rules out nearly everyone Drumlanrig knows.

LAMONT READY TO DIVE IN AT THE DEEP END

We now know that the new Labour leader Johann Lamont is an early riser. Seven hours before she was elected yesterday, she was up with the larks at 5am – something she does on a regular basis thanks to the athletic prowess of her son Colin. Lamont junior is a promising swimmer and his training regime sees her take him to the pool for an early morning training session. Apparently when Lamont was a minister in the Labour-led administration she used to go through a lot of her ministerial papers “poolside”.

FIGHTING NASTINESS WITH LAUGHTER

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Johann Lamont managed to raise a laugh during her winner’s speech when she talked of “flattering” remarks made about her during the campaign. Her sarcastic comment was a reference to George Galloway’s mean-spirited comparison of her with Rosa Klebb, the East German James Bond villain. She has clearly decided that laughter is the best way to deal with such poison. Good on her.

MSPS KEEP THE BALLS ROLLING

There was an outburst of vulgarity in the Holyrood Chamber last week when Alex Salmond and Ruth Davidson both uttered the word “bollocks”.

They were both referring to a rather questionable journalistic Christmas dinner crudely named the “Tartan Bollocks”. If nothing else, the exchange reminded Drumlanrig of its favourite example of unparliamentary language to have emanated from Holyrood.

A glance at McHansard, finds the SNP MSP Kenny Gibson, right, giving an impressive insight into the depth of his knowledge of electoral systems back in 2000. The official record shows Gibson saying: “As for the Tories saying that STV [single transferable vote] would benefit them – well, I am sorry, but it wouldnae. In the 1995 local council elections, I gained more votes in my ward than John Young – who was elected by a ba’ hair of 38 votes.”

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