John Higgins reveals snooker graft probe torment

The former world No 1, who returns to the sport this week after being cleared by an independent tribunal in September, said he felt isolated from family and friends and, for five months, could not face playing with his nine-year-old son.

In an interview with Scotland on Sunday today the 35-year-old, from Wishaw, North Lanarkshire, said he was still struggling to return to normal life after being investigated following newspaper reports that he had agreed to throw frames.

Speaking about eldest son Pierce, nine, with whom he plays pool in his garage, he said. "He asked me for a game but even then I couldn't face picking up the cue. Couldn't even play a game of pool with the boy. There were people saying to me, 'Right John, we believe you, why don't you just be in the club practising'. But I couldn't do it. There was no purpose at the end of it. I'd have just been hitting balls about. There was no end goal."

He also said he spent sleepless nights following news coverage of the match-fixing probe, and put a barrier up between himself and his friends.

Higgins, who will take on Joe Jogia at the Euro Players Tour Championship in Hamm, Germany, on Thursday, in his first match since a surprise defeat to Steve Davis at the Crucible in April, said: "I don't think I slept a decent sleep for those five months. Not once. Sometimes, sitting at night, I'd go on the internet and see what was happening.

"There were a lot of things being said. Just bored, you know. Googling everything and you hear some of the bad stuff. Denise (his wife] was my rock. Our two youngest kids, Claudia and Oliver, didn't really didn't know what was going on, but Pierce did. There were a couple of comments at school.

"He came home a little bit upset. Me and Denise sat him down and tried to explain that there were people saying bad things about daddy in the papers and he said, 'You show them out to me daddy and I'll punch them in the face'.

"Kids can make you do a whole range of things. They can make you laugh and cry. Two emotions at once."

"I can't hold grudges. It's just not me. It's not in my nature. There are things that I need to keep to myself about what happened, but I can't allow myself to get bitter about it. If that's what happens then they've won. They've changed me as a person and they've won."

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