Janet Christie: Youngest has discovered my guilty secret

“What are you doing?”I jump. Oh no.

Youngest has caught me looking at a celeb gossip website, discovered my guilty secret that I sometimes sneak a look to catch up on important issues such as whether Helen Mirren has had a facelift and the revelation that Christina Hendricks is not a natural redhead. Then there is the joy of pictures of celebs blighted with cellulite despite their personal trainers and starvation diets (check out Angelina’s bag of spanners knees) and sanctimonious dismissals of A-list females who let themselves get fat or hairy.

“What’s that?” Youngest is pointing at a picture of Suri Cruise with a wet dress.

“Suri Cruise. Her mum’s an actress,” I say.

“OMG That’s not news. Some little girl spills juice on her dress. Why is that in the news?”

“Because her mother is Katie Holmes, a famous actress.”

“Never heard of them. And I don’t want to know about spilling juice. I want to know about bank robberies. How did they get in? Did they explode the safe? How much did they get? Did they take hostages? That’s news, not someone spills juice.”

That’s my girl. Unlike her mother she can ignore the tittle tattle of our celebrity-obsessed culture to focus on real issues.

“Anyway...”

“What?”

“Suri Cruise’s dress is way too short.”