Father reveals heartbreaking international tug-of-love over son

A FATHER today told of his heartbreaking international tug-of-love battle after his Scottish ex-wife took their child to live in the Middle East.

Ash Sakr, 36, from Leith, has had no contact with his five-year-old son Nehad in nearly a year after his estranged wife flew to Oman – just before a court order was issued that would have prevented her from travelling abroad with the child.

She is now believed to be working teaching English in the country but Mr Sakr said he had heard nothing despite repeated attempts to get in touch.

He is now faced with raising money for a costly legal challenge in Omani courts in a last-ditch attempt to secure regular access.

The IT engineer told how he missed Nehad "terribly" and could not wait to introduce him to his grandparents who have never met their first-born grandson.

"Last time I saw Nehad was in July last year," he said. "I have not heard anything for about a year but I know that they are in Oman.

"He is my only child and I miss him terribly. My son is the most precious thing in my life and I have been depressed feeling that I have really let him down by allowing this to happen."

He added: "I want to win custody of my son so he can have a stable relationship with his father.

"I do want to take up the case in Oman but I cannot afford it on my own."

Mr Sakr, a Palestinian national, said he first met his Stirling-born wife Janet Danaher through a mutual friend in 2003, while he was in the Qatari army and she was teaching English at a local school.

"It was great to begin with," said Mr Sakr. "We were going out and having fun. My brother had married a British lady, had five kids and was very happy with her. I thought we could be the same."

In love and with Ms Danaher's teaching contract running out, the couple married and moved to Glasgow in 2004. Six months later they settled in Edinburgh.

But soon the wheels came off. A year later, just weeks after the birth of their first child, the marriage collapsed.

Taking her newborn, Ms Danaher booked a fortnight's holiday to Thailand but Mr Sakr said she stayed for a year after finding work.

Since then, Mr Sakr said she had returned to Scotland infrequently and for no longer than a few months at a time in the last few years.

He believes a legal challenge in Omani courts is his last hope because the country has not signed up to the Hague Convention – a international protocol to help resolve cross-border custody disputes. It means he cannot rely on UK government assistance but must go it alone to fight for custody.

He plans to cover the cost of travel, legal fees and accommodation for any future custody battle in Oman by fundraising and publicising his cause.

With no legal aid available, he predicts more than 20,000 will be needed to bankroll the case.

He also believes parental rights are unfairly weighted in favour of the mother.

"No-one should have the right to take your child away just because the parents have split up," he said.

"The mother has all the rights when it comes to the kids. I never wanted to go to court. I wanted to be civil."

His solicitor, Alison McKee of Maxwell MacLaurin, successfully won a interdict preventing Ms Danaher from travelling abroad with Nehad last summer. The judgement – which would have prevented Ms Danaher from leaving the UK without the written consent of Mr Sakr – came too late, however, as she had already flown to Oman with the boy.

"It is very frustrating for my client," said the solicitor. "And I can appreciate how upset he would be by this. He has been very, very upset by what has happened.

"We had a hearing in August. The sheriff granted the interim interdict and a warrant to intimate to the port authorities preventing her from leaving the country with the child.

"The papers were sent to officers to serve the order. They went to Ms Danaher's flat and she was not there. Someone else was renting it."

Because she is no longer in the UK, legal proceedings have ground to a halt.

"We cannot go any further at the moment," said the solicitor.

Ms McKee, who frequently seeks redress for clients under the Hague Convention, said the procedure "often worked well", but added it was "frustrating that it was not available".

She said that cases of child abduction being addressed through the Hague Convention had become "much more common" in recent years.

Ms Danaher could not be contacted for comment.

CROSS-BORDER BATTLES

THE number of cases of so-called parental child abduction are rising steadily.

According to latest Foreign Office figures, it was aware of 196 new cases in 2008-9, and there are currently 430 cases still being dealt with.

Pakistan has topped the list of destinations involved for the last three years, followed by Egypt, Lebanon, Nigeria, and Syria.

However, UK government officials cannot "rescue" the child or become involved in any illegal attempts to return the child to the UK.

Neither can they locate the child if it is not known where they are or offer legal advice or interfere in the legal system of another country.

All legal, travel and accommodation costs must also be met by the parent or guardian and not the Foreign Office.

Help and advice can be sought through the Foreign Office on 0207-008 0878.