Case study: Marriage ceremony slipped down priority list

Pamela is director of a public relations and communication company, Wire Media, and Stephen is a television editor with the BBC. They have been together for seven years.

Pamela said that getting married had never been a major issue for them in the first place.

“I don’t think anything of it,” she explained. “We did get engaged a couple of years ago, after we had Molly, but given the cost of getting married, there were more important things. We knew we wanted to be together and we wanted a family. It wasn’t spending money having the ceremony.

“I completely understand why people want that. It’s a nice thing to do, but when you’ve got work and kids, it starts to slip down the priority list.”

She said some people had been “slightly surprised” that Molly and Ernest have her surname, but this had not been a major issue for her or her partner. “I guess I’m lucky in that it would never have been a consideration for him what their second names would be, and he was very relaxed about the whole thing,” she said.

She said they felt complete as a family without a marriage certificate.

“We are very settled. We have a house, two kids, we are very happy. So while it would be lovely to have a nice day and have a party for our friends, as far as the institution of marriage is concerned, it holds no particular weight for me.”