Artificial Intelligence: Ridiculous place names

THE recent guilty verdict for a gang of bird egg thieves was aided by the fact that they took pictures of the nests they raided. The photo of the three men next to a signpost for the village of Twatt, near where some of the raids took place, did not help their case, but it certainly raised a few laughs.

Throughout the UK, there are destinations capable of bringing out the smutty schoolchild in anyone. These are places where we can only wonder if long-suffering locals take pride in their environment, or pretend to come from the neighbouring village.

Folklore tells that when Queen Victoria made a visit to Piddletown, the name was quickly changed to Puddletown to spare the monarch’s blushes.

If you thought Sodom was just a biblical myth, think again. Drive around the Swindon area and you might find yourself right in the midst of it.

Brighton may be famous for collapsing piers and Fatboy Slim, but it has lesser-known attractions. Bushy Bottom, for example, where we must assume beauty salons offering waxing are yet to be established. Those who enjoy turning the air blue are advised to move to nearby Fulking Hill.

Quite what the demographics are for Camp Town, near Leeds, we can only guess, but Dancing Dicks near Chelmsford must surely be visited at least once in a lifetime. Those who can’t face the long walk home after a night at the pub should feel at home in Staffordshire’s Dirty Gutter. And spare a thought for anyone setting up home near Great Cockup in Cumbria, for the odds cannot be good. Slightly more auspicious is Little Cockup, just a few miles away.

Finally, forget all the jokes you’ve heard about Essex girls. The area is home to a town called Ugley. What you’ll find at the Ugley Women’s Institute can only be imagined.