Janet Christie: “I can’t wait until you’re in a wheelchair”

I overhear a conversation between Youngest and her brothers. It’s not hard as they’re standing behind me in the kitchen.

“She repeats everything you say.”

“She’s deaf.”

“I know. She can’t hear, then she repeats it. It’s like having an echo in the house.”

“God. It’s annoying.”

I round on them. “What’s annoying?”

“OMG,” says Youngest. “See?”

Later she and I are shopping for underwear. We both hate this but the only way to ensure she’ll ever wear anything is to make her choose.

“Whisper, whisper.” I’ve no idea what she’s saying so I repeat what I think she said for verification.

“Don’t tell anyone, the pants are what …?”

“OMG YOU ARE SO EMBARRASSING.”

I hear this.

“Sorry.”

“Whisper, whisper.”

Not a scoobie. I try, “Do not repeat this out loud but …what?”

“I HATE YOU. And I can’t wait until you’re in a wheelchair so I can push you around the shops really fast. I’ve got The Simpsons to watch.”

“When I’m in a wheelchair I’ll be the one watching The Simpsons all day,” I mutter.

“What?“Simpsons what?”

“I said, “OMG, YOU’RE COMPLETELY DEAF AND SOOOO EMBARRASSING.”

“Just you wait till I’m the boss of you!”

Whisper it, I’m looking forward to it.