Mum's the Word - Making up in lockdown

DIY makeover challenge

After a fortnight of lockdown alone, I’ve had a tiny taste of what it must be like for those whose lives are always confined to their own four walls. I’m lucky to be safely working from home while our NHS and other frontline workers, from recycling to supermarket staff to posties and all the rest, give their all. But with the isolation comes a losing of the plot.

Nicola Sturgeon and Janey Godley have morphed into one in my head, and with the demise of Catherine Calderwood (“No excuse”, my frontline medic pals tell me when I attempt to fathom it. “You just wouldn’t. Even you.”), they have new sidekicks. Godley’s wee polis man is good value. No doubt we’ll be seeing more of him as lockdown continues...

So I’m in the middle of a Zoom family quiz when Youngest returns from Other Parent’s for her Fortnight Of Fun with me. Yay!

Watching and waiting

Should I disinfect her? I saw garden power jets in the Middle at Lidl. I might invest – a necessary purchase so no guilt schlepping it home on my daily power walk.

Unlike the frivolous hair dye I bought when I should have been stockpiling pasta and toilet roll.

It’s still not used – I’ve been waiting for Youngest, the freshly pink-locked poppet, to return and take charge.

Me: “Can we do badinage?” Her: “Balayage,” sigh, eye roll. She’s heard it before but it’s good for her vocabulary. And mine.

“Anyway, I’m doing make-up this week,” she says. (Yes, she’s switched from joinery to beauty, neatly dovetailing useful life skills). “I need to practise a bridal look on a real person.”

“Oh?” There’s only me here. It could be... me!

“Yeah,” she says. “But not you. You’re my Older Model.”

Chuffed. I’ve still got it.

“Good for practising on hooded eyes.”

Aw. I’ve missed this.

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