A Scottish islander's guide to what island life is really like

Rhoda Meek cuts through the myths surrounding life on the Scottish isles and delivers a reality check straight from her croft on Tiree.

Crofter Rhoda Meek says island life is messy, hard, cold, wet, windy and often frustrating - and a far cry from the Instagram posts of the Outer Hebrides, like this one taken at Seilebost Beach on Harris. PIC: Contributed.

So you've moved to the Scottish Islands and are contemplating your first Instagram post congratulating yourselves on living the good life. Here's a handy guide to living in the islands.Those sunny summer days that convinced you to move were just that, summer. Summer doesn't last long. The rest of us manage just fine in the winter. Put on some weight, get a good waterproof and wheesht.Related: if you spend your winter in warmer climes, don't expect to be taken seriously by those who spent it up to their armpits in mud ensuring that the landscape remains instagrammable for you in the summer.If you moved here for the slower pace, know that that is a myth. Island folk work hard, often in multiple roles and your insistence on telling everyone that time stops and technology stands still is frankly insulting.

The fact that you couldn't get off the island for three straight weeks is simply that, a fact, and not a matter for the community council. Ditto the lack of street lights, presence of bulls, rams, shit on the road, smelly ring feeders outside the house and cockerels.You'll be judged entirely on who you are and how you treat other people. We don't care what important position you held, what title you have on LinkedIn, how much your jacket cost or how much you sold three flats in London for. We do judge you for Hunter wellies.You're best not to talk about people until you've fully ascertained who they're related to. Having lots of relations is often the butt of jokes about locals. Don't do that. We'll know. We have networks that will bite you on the ass - even if we are mid feud.