Scottish schoolkids make UK top 10 in contest to find nation’s funniest class

The P6 class from ESMS, the only Scottish school shortlisted in the top ten of the Beano's national joke competition
The P6 class from ESMS, the only Scottish school shortlisted in the top ten of the Beano's national joke competition
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An Edinburgh primary school class is the only Scottish school group shortlisted in the top ten of a competition to find Britain’s funniest class.

The P6 class at ESMS Junior School was shortlisted in the contest held by Dundee-based comic Beano, with the joke: “How do you fry a black and white bear? With a pan-duh!”

Nine other UK schools were also shortlisted, including one group of youngsters from West Sussex with the gag “At the bank a lady asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over” and another from Kent who joked: “What is green and not heavy? Light green.”

The news comes as the Beano announced a poll which found that seeing people tripping or slipping over, hearing someone passing wind in public and internet memes have been voted as the biggest everyday laughter triggers.

The comic lists the top 20 moments where we can’t help but laugh.

Animals acting like humans, rude sounding names – including road and place names such as Scratchy Bottom and Piddle River in Dorset – also feature highly on the list of things guaranteed to raise a laugh.

British adults’ favourite type of laughter is the “Belly Laugh”, followed by the classic “Giggle” and the “Nose Snorter”.

The survey also polled 2,000 British children aged seven to 12 to reveal what makes them laugh the most.

Oldies and parents trying to be cool was also found to be a big source of kids’ amusement with children saying they found it funny when their elders tried to use kids’ slang, showed off their dance moves, or attempted to use technology or social media.

Mike Stirling, editorial director at Beano, said: “Everyone at Beano has been left in stitches by the entries to our national joke competition to find the funniest primary class in Britain and we can’t wait to see which school the public will vote the ultimate comedy genius.”

The shortlisted top ten jokes were chosen by comedian Harry Hill and Beano’s gag makers and are now open to a public vote on Beano.com to decide who will be named Britain’s Funniest Class.

Robert Cowie, P6 class teacher at ESMS, said: “As a class we do ‘Worst Joke Wednesdays’ most weeks. The benchmark was set very low by me at the start of the year. The more groans elicited by the jokes, the better. However, the children enjoyed creating jokes of a much higher quality for this competition and are delighted to be shortlisted.”

Top 10 funniest jokes told by schoolchildren

1) Elm Academy, Bournemouth (Hampshire) class 5GC: “What do you call a magic Labrador? A Labracadabrador.”

2) St Jude’s C of E Primary School, Portsmouth (Hampshire) Da Vinci class: “I went to the doctor this morning and I said I swallowed a golf ball! The doctor said ‘Yes I can see, it’s gone down a fairway!’”

3) Castlewood Primary School, Southwater (West Sussex) Foxes class: “At the bank a lady asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.”

4) Polperro Primary, Looe (Cornwall) Talland class: “YouTube, Twitter and Facebook are making a joint website. What would it be called? YouTwitFace.”

5) Larchwood Primary School, Pilgrims Hatch (Essex) class 4SB: “What’s the difference between Harry Hill and Dennis the Menace? Nothing, they both have great Gnashers.”

6) Bispham Endowed CE Primary School, Blackpool (Lancashire) class 6A: “A Mexican man says to his friends, ‘I can disappear in three seconds. Uno...dos…’ and then he disappears without a ‘tres’!”

7) Staines Preparatory School, Staines (Surrey) class 5K: “Have you seen the new movie ‘Constipated’? No? That’s because it hasn’t come out yet!”

8) ESMS Junior School, Edinburgh, class P6RC: “How do you fry a black and white bear? With a pan-duh!”

9) Yeo Moor Primary School,Clevedon (North Somerset) Wagtails class: “Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he farted, so he had to run away from the smell!”

10) St Marks Primary School, Bromley (Kent) Rochester class: “What is green and not heavy? Light green.”