Michelle Rodger : Think before you speak or end up paying the price

IF I were to say to you "don't think about purple spiders", you would. Immediately. The image would be the first thing that would pop into your head. That's because of the power of language.

It's also the reason England is out of the World Cup, if neuro-linguistic programming experts are to be believed.

You see, on the eve of the match against Germany, team captain Steven Gerrard unconsciously predicted England's defeat when he said: "We have to make sure we play well and have no regrets afterwards."

Apparently he was presupposing defeat, since had he been presupposing a win the concept of no regrets would not have arisen.

According to Helen Doyle of the Business NLP Academy, the words and language we use are part of the surface structure that reveals the thoughts and beliefs unconsciously influencing our speech, behaviour, actions and responses.

When we understand what our language reveals and how the words we use influence our own destiny, NLP expert Doyle says we can begin to make subtle changes that create a deep impact on the performance of ourselves and those around us.

Which raised a discussion, both online and off, about the importance of language in business, and how we can influence outcomes by the language we use, in order to close a sale, win a pitch, negotiate a deal or handle an employee performing poorly.

Fortunately, it's not necessary to be NLP qualified or trained to maximise the benefits of better use of language, there are simple skills and techniques you can employ.

For example, in a sales context how many times have you been told "that's expensive" as a reason not to buy?

But if you counter with "compared to what exactly", it gives you the opportunity to learn more about the objection - and perhaps alleviate concerns - and even gives you more information about the competitor you're up against.

Tony Harding knows language is hugely important in business; it can convey both knowledge and lack of knowledge.

Founder of Momentum SPK, Harding insists personality is more important than training in the long run.

The most important part of sales is your own appeal, and making certain you communicate the tangible benefits.

Being firm and fair in negotiation is crucial, but Harding also suggests using silence - as opposed to powerful language - as another tool. "Those who speak first can sometimes give away more than they need," he warns.

No matter what words are used, they have to be used with sincerity. Most of us are good at sensing when it's not meant, says Jackie Cameron, of Cameron Consulting.

She coaches clients preparing for interviews, and focuses on how they express skills and abilities in the best way possible.

Just like the football analogy, somebody has to be successful, which means that others won't, so focusing on the small words that creep in can have a big impact on the outcome of the interview.

Little words can have a limiting effect, like being "quite" good at something instead of simply "good", or having "some" experience, rather than "experience".

"In my experience we Scots find it particularly difficult to talk positively and proudly about our successes," says Cameron. "I always strive to use positive language, even in very trying situations."

So what are the best words to use in business?

There's been a lengthy discussion on business networking website LinkedIn about the single most powerful positive word in the English language. "We", "yes", "think", "now", "please" and "sorry" came up first, almost nine months ago.

At the end of the day, whichever words you use - and how you build them into your conversation - will paint a picture of you, your colleagues and your business. They will dictate how much you get out of your teams and how you engage with customers.

Gerrard didn't plan what to say, he simply answered a question and clearly he had no idea about the unconscious message in his press conference comment. But, in business, can we afford to be unaware of the messages we are giving about ourselves, our business and our customers?