Jane Bradley: Campaign to cut noise has disturbing knock-oneffects

SSSSHHH. Keep it down. For today, I am writing this while browsing in the quietest shop in the world.

And this week a small number of manufacturers will let out a silent cheer as they are awarded the “Quiet Mark” – a new kite mark-style acknowledgement of goods and products that meet the Noise Abatement Society’s strict noise reducing criteria.

Compiled by its expert testers, the first 25 award winning categories for Quiet Mark 2012 include dishwashers, washing machines, tumble dryers, paper shredders, kettles, juicers, food mixers, scooters, extractor fans, air-conditioning units, garden and power tools, noise-cancellation head-phones and reversing alarms – all of which will be available through the Society’s online shop in a bid to create a quieter world.

Personally – and those who know me would vouch for this – I am not a big fan of silence. In fact, I was once deemed so noisy by a colleague that he submitted a request to human resources to have a sound-proof barrier put up between our desks.

So, while it is unlikely I would ever be awarded a Quiet Mark, I can see the benefits of a more serene world than the one I usually inhabit.

The roar of my (supposedly quiet model) washing machine has sparked complaints from the downstairs neighbours, and it’s impossible to dry my hair anywhere in the house without waking up my other half as he slumbers on a lazy weekend.

But I still can’t help but think the Noise Abatement Society is perhaps going a little too far in its quest for noiseless products.

I find the idea of silent electric cars unnerving – creeping up on you as you try to cross a road.

Waking up to the droning noise of a neighbour mowing the lawn as a child always marked the beginning of summer, while the sound of the kettle boiling is almost as comforting as the cup of tea it will eventually produce.

Even paper shredders produce a satisfying crunch, which assures the user their precious documents have been well and truly blitzed.

So let’s not get rid of all day-to-day noise – life may be more peaceful without it, but it is often richer with it.