What would you do if you ruled the world? I'd outlaw The X Factor.
What one thing would improve your life? Sleeping with Kristen Stewart.
Who did you last receive a text from and what did it say? It was from my dad, and it said: "You owe me insurance money."
What's your guiltiest pleasure? Tattoos. I've got 23 and I'm not finished yet. My favourite is a guardian angel on my right forearm and I'm planning on getting a Pegasus. I've worn a Pegasus around my neck for the last ten years and it just dropped off so I thought the best way to fix that is to get one tattooed.
When did you last feel sorry for yourself? I don't really feel sorry for myself – I think it's quite pathetic.
What do you wish you'd never done? Got married.
Would your mother be proud of you? My mum tells me constantly how proud she is of me.
Who would you like to say sorry to? Any person I've ever hurt. It's a big list so I won't go into it.
Who does the cleaning in your house? I do, all of it. Even if I did have a cleaner, I'd probably go around and clean after them because they wouldn't get into all the nooks and crannies. It's the way I was brought up.
What's the most you've ever spent on a purchase, apart from a car or property? Probably a guitar – the dearest one would have been about 8,000. I collect guitars and I name them all – my main one's called Dolly, I have one called Johnny, as in Johnny Cash, I have one called Carmen, and I have a ukulele called Tonto.
What is the most embarrassing thing that's happened to you? A lot of embarrassing things have happened to me but one of the most embarrassing was years ago when these girls came up and asked for an autograph. Instead of pulling a Sharpie out my pocket I pulled out a tampon. I didn't even realise and said to them: "Right, who's it to?" They just looked at me, I looked at them then looked down, like what do I do now? I just burst out laughing.
What is your earliest memory? I was three, playing a game of libraries with my older sister, and I fell and broke my arm. It took my mum three days to be convinced I was actually hurt.
What song is the theme tune to your life? The Dixie Chicks' Home. Lyrically, it's amazing – it's probably the one song I've listened to most in my life.
Who would play you in the movie of your life? I'd quite like Kristen Stewart.
What worries you in the wee small hours? Money.
When were you last naked in front of another person? Last night.
Who was your favourite teacher and why? My PE teacher, because she always used to wink at me, and that's how I knew I was her star pupil!
Who is your fantasy date? Kristen Stewart.
What would you do if you were invisible? Sneak into Kristen Stewart's house.
What do you remember better, your first car or first kiss? My first car – it was an old Vauxhall Cavalier, metallic blue.
If you didn't have your current career, what would you do? I think I'd just be a nomad travelling the world – I'm a wandering soul.
What do you think of celebrity? It's very cheap and desperate now. The X Factor and Big Brother have ruined it. People become celebrities really quickly and before they know it everyone hates them and they wonder why. It's because they have no reason to be a celebrity.
What has been your greatest achievement? That would be touring the 50 US states in 50 days in a truck. It was very hard work but it was amazing. It was me and a really good friend and we did a gig in every state, covering 22,000 miles. We finished in Hawaii and watched the sun go down – a surreal experience. Obviously I got a tour tattoo – it's the ukulele on my hand.
How old are you? Eleven years older than Kristen Stewart – 30.
This article was first published in Scotsman on Sunday on 10 January, 2010.