Her life hereafter will be all too short as welders crawl all over here and convert her into razor blades and tin cans. Enough to make one weep when a respectable future for the grand old lady could be staring the heartless Ministry of Defence in the face. Bring her to Leith and we’ll find a good home for her. Shove yesterday’s potatoes Britannia aside and make way for Ark Royal. A berth awaits Britannia at Inverleith Pond. On her way up, she could do us all a huge favour and have everybody at the Ministry of Defence keel-hauled. Dirty dogs Messy, did you say? Just mind how you go and where you go. Else you could put your foot in it. Dog-fouling is so problematic in the streets of London’s Islington that the local council spent spent £134,000 employing 22 “dog mess” wardens. The council, noses in the air, have given up after after a paltry 26 fines in three months. The problen persists in Edinburgh where you have to wonder whether the council are bothering their backsides. Worlds apart, but can I add here that they have 88 million rats in Mumbai? Who counted? Anyway, 44 rat killers are employed there at £160 a month. Peanuts, but a boon to the jobless in their scramble for work.