This week, dear reader, I bought a bra. In fact, I bought two. I went, as I usually do, to the mysterious lace-filled enclave on the first floor of a famous Edinburgh department store and to my delight found two bras for the price of one.
As Belinda Robertson observes elsewhere on these pages, it is never a good idea to scrimp on style. And if there is anywhere a lady should never cut corners it is on her bra.
Wearing a bra that fits is good for your posture, good for your back. And if, like me you wear a cup size which is well beyond the first four letters of the alphabet, it is absolutely essential.
Most women, as surveys repeatedly show us, are wearing the wrong size bra. The straps are invariably too long, meaning the front sags. Or the cup sizes are too small, which gives you that unattractive “four boobs” look.
Getting properly measured, by a proper bra fitter is key. If you have never done it, or if you haven’t done it for a while then get yourself an appointment. It could change your life.
I foolishly mentioned my bra-buying adventures to a male friend in the pub (I know, what was I thinking?) And he said: “Why not just buy the slutty one.”
“Ha” I replied. And I meant it to sting.
Women like me don’t need froth in a bra. We need serious engineering. Women with small breasts don’t know how lucky they are. They can dress themselves in ribbons and lace, they can go for the slutty alternative every time.
And it is a delicate matter. There is nothing worse than going into one of those bra fitting departments staffed by evil harridans who shake their heads gravely and then bring you out something hideous, padded and the colour of a dead mouse.
A good bra fitter will size you up, take a look at you from the front, the back and the side and then attempt to bring out a bra which fits first time. It’s a matter of pride to them to get it right.
I know this for a fact, I once wound up with a group of them on a night out and they were playing: “Guess the bra size” in a nightclub.
It’s a serious business.
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Weather for Edinburgh
Friday 24 May 2013
Temperature: 3 C to 13 C
Wind Speed: 20 mph
Wind direction: North east
Temperature: 7 C to 17 C
Wind Speed: 13 mph
Wind direction: West