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It was a nice day for a white wedding, right enough. And with every helicopter shot of Edinburgh, VisitScotland could be heard roaring "kerching", so I guess the cost of the security was worth it.
When I grow up, I want to be An Expert. In preparation for this, I shall purchase a tweed jacket and develop a plummy English accent. I'm already cultivating a moustache.
Hans Christen Andersen's Little Mermaid fell in love with a prince and wanted to share her life with him. Why is it always a prince, by the way? How on earth did the lower classes get a look in on the dating game in Fairytaleland?
...and I found out how surprisingly easy it is to squeeze two giants into a totty wee Micra
Mother is steadily becoming more ambulant following her hip replacement and has taken to trawling the charity shops with her previous enthusiasm.
OHO! Scottish Utilities Megacorp - caught you. The standing order came out on the tenth. What's this two days later? Numpty pounds and 12p taken out again? Do you think I don't check these things? To the Complaint Phone.
Somewhere in the kitchen there is a yellowing bit of paper with a splotchy painting of what looks like a bright red dalek with legs. It's a portrait of me, painted by my son on his first day at primary school. This is his last day.
Do you think Carstairs was miserable before they built The State Hospital? I mean, I'm sure it's a lovely place to live, if you go for windswept isolation and can measure the walking distance to John Lewis in days.
The train trip was cursed by an extraordinarily rude and unpleasant group of young men heading for Manchester to fly to foreign parts. I fear their chances of getting on a sun-bound flight were going to be scunnered by one of their number who had breakfasted on brilliantly-coloured alcopops. Helpful tip - they stain your white T-shirt when they reappear, somewhere just north of Carlisle.
WHEN we collected our RV they showed my husband how to use the hook-ups for water and fuel. They showed me how to use the washing up bowl. American housewives, it seems, are unsure of the protocol when it comes to washing dishes by hand.
Aberdonians are championing the accents of Scotland but, frankly, sometimes they can be quite brutal on the ears
Real-life Begbies and Rentons love to help our visitors appreciate the port's finer points
They say there are two kinds of people in the world, those who like Marmite and those who don't.
Call the cops, it's a household emergency as hubby refuses to bin horrendous paper trail
What particular grudge does Bilfinger Berger harbour against Edinburgh?
WEEK four of the intensive training programme for the Race for Life. I am determined to show the field a clean pair of heels and lift the fabulous cash prize and luxury travel voucher the editor of this august organ has promised to the victorious competitor.
Been driving that Citroën for many a year, but the radio packed in, so it's out on its ear
Let me be the first to thank all those tourists who choose Edinburgh, from the bewildering array of destinations on this planet to spread their love and cash around.