Tiger Woods loses his cool – but for once he may have a valid point over Pebble Beach's crazy golf greens

Published on Saturday 19 June 2010 22:13

A FUNNY thing happened at the US Open last Thursday evening. Just after completing a frustratingly birdie-free opening round of 74 – three over par for the 7,040-yard Pebble Beach links – a fellow who looked and sounded remarkably like Tiger Woods had a good old moan about the condition of the greens.

"They were so bouncy out there," whined the guy in the black Nike cap. "The greens are just awful. You can't leave yourself a second putt. They're just not very good. And above the hole is not a place you can leave the ball because it's going to be bouncing all over the place. Lee (Westwood] and I were talking about that today – you'd rather have a 30-foot putt from below the hole than a ten-footer above the hole.

"My putt on the 17th bounced about three feet in the air. It is what it is. All you can do is go out there and hit good putts and hopefully they kick in."

Now, without getting into the accuracy or otherwise of Woods' gripes (they were spot on, sadly), such an outburst is almost without precedent for the world's best golfer. All of this off-course nonsense must be affecting young Eldrick more than we thought. In his previous, pre-sexual scandal, incarnation, the great man would never have handed his rivals such an obvious boost to their morale. Any misgivings he may have harboured about the quality of the putting surfaces – or any other aspect of the course – would have been kept strictly private lest the rest get the idea that Tiger might just be vulnerable in some little way.

Of course, despite his protestations that his post-Haney swing is on the mend, this isn't really the Tiger of old we are currently dealing with. While many of the old characteristics remain (his press conferences continue to be noted only for the almost complete lack of information divulged by the star of the show), including his sneering contempt for any and all of the media, he would be less than human had he been unaffected by all that has gone on (and come off, apparently) behind the scenes.

Not that you'd ever know it from Tiger breaking down in public and declaring his desolate unhappiness for all to share and wallow in. Heaven forbid. Asked the other day by the man from the Telegraph about the current state of his marriage/separation/impending divorce from the soon-to-be-ex Mrs Woods, the world number one swatted away the question with a snappy: "That's none of your business."

We in the media are not the only inhabitants of the Woods doghouse, however. Also "behind bars" is five-time Open champion Tom Watson.

Not so long ago, Watson dared to suggest that Woods' off-course behaviour was a disgrace to the game that has made him a wealthy man. Which was fine, of course. Not many would argue that Woods' shenanigans do not represent a fall from grace professional golf could well do without in the currently frigid economic climate, even if, as his politics veer ever more wildly to the right, dear old Tom does have an increasingly intolerant side to his always hard-nosed competitive personality.

Still, even in the wake of such condemnation, all appeared to be well, the high-profile duo indulging in a mutual backing-off, publicly at least. But, surprise, surprise, Woods clearly continues to feel some resentment at the older man's candour. Standing together on Pebble's adjacent 4th and 17th tees the other day, the pair turned the atmosphere frosty. Woods even went as far as to warmly greet Watson's practice companions before studiously ignoring his illustrious critic.

That's a lot more like the Tiger we have come to admire and loathe in equal measure: nasty, spiteful and vindictive.

Anyway, back at the golf, Woods' comments regarding the Ryvita-like putting surfaces over which the identity of the 110th US Open champion will be decided have hardly been alone in their condemnation of the generally overrated Pebble Beach course. Two holes came in for special attention from the vast majority of the 156-man starting line-up: the par-5 14th and the par-3 17th.

Simply put, both are very, very silly and both need to be re-designed in a hurry. Well, the greens are and do at least. The 14th, despite the noble efforts of the USGA's course set-up man, the admirable Mike Davis, proved to be almost as farcical as it was back in February. (During the final round of the AT&T National Pro-am there were three quadruple-bogey nines, as well a host of other, not quite so calamitous, disasters).

Quite apart from the fact that there is only one remotely sensible and/or playable pin position on the whole green, anyone missing to the left, down the steep bank, with his approach was almost certainly condemned to make at least a double bogey. One player, the current USPGA champion YE Yang, holed from six feet for his triple bogey eight.

Then there is the 17th. Many great and wondrous things have happened on this famous hourglass green. Jack Nicklaus' immortal 1-iron tee-shot hit the flag back in 1972 and gave the Golden Bear his third US Open title. A decade later Watson – long before he was preoccupied with the ins and outs of Tiger's sex life – chipped in from over the green to deny Nicklaus what would have been a fifth victory in America's national championship.

But those great deeds are but the exceptions that prove the rule. In its current form, the 17th green is a nonsense. Far too shallow – it is but seven paces across at its narrowest point – the putting surface is all but unhittable with the long irons most players are forced to hit from the distant tee. Even finding the green is no guarantee of sanity. On Friday morning, former champion Michael Campbell of New Zealand struck a lovely shot on to the short grass, then was forced to pitch his next shot because there was a large clump of long grass directly between him and the flag. He, of course, made a bogey.

Even the aforementioned Watson has misgivings about a hole that must be close to his 60-year-old heart.

"The 17th is the smallest green to hit that length of shot that we play anywhere in golf," he said after a second round of 71 saw him squeeze into the weekend courtesy of the rule that guarantees anyone within ten shots of the leader makes the 36-hole cut. "That green is even smaller than the Postage Stamp at Troon, much smaller than that green. It's a tiny little bowl thing. You land it short, the ball hits on the downslope and goes right over the back. Just to get it on the surface is a major achievement."

Not surprisingly, the 14th and 17th were ranked the second and third hardest holes respectively over the opening two rounds (the 502-yard par-4 (!) 2nd was toughest), averaging almost half a shot over their nominal pars. All both really need to complete the farcical "crazy golf" picture is a clown's mouth and a couple of windmills – maybe a gnome or two. At the US Open, it was ever thus.