Pat Nevin: 'Every fan I have met has quizzed me on my FA Cup final loyalties'

Published on Saturday 23 May 2009 19:49

I AM SERIOUSLY considering an investment in a clicker, one of those pocket counting machines. I started off totting up the figure myself, but gave up when I reached 100. Now it would need a mathematician to keep track of the burgeoning number. So what is this figure that will undoubtedly continue to grow exponentially until next Saturday at 5pm? It is the number of people who have asked me exactly the same question: who will I be supporting in the FA Cup Final?

Having spent a decade playing at Stamford Bridge then Goodison Park, every Chelsea and Everton fan I have met has felt the need to quiz me on my loyalties.

It started at the Wembley semi-final moments after Phil Jagielka scored the winning penalty against Manchester United. I hadn't even left my seat when there was a tap on my back and I felt the first drip of what was to become a cascade of questioning.

I could just about hear the old Evertonian's voice over the deafening noise from the other celebrating Scousers but I pretended I couldn't, I didn't have an answer. The roar throughout that day at the refurbished national stadium was extraordinary and only half of the stadium was singing. United fans generally looked under-whelmed by such small beer as an FA Cup match at Wembley or maybe watching the team that Sir Alex had selected just made it look like a reserve/third-team outing.

Right then, when Davie Moyes finally let go and even celebrated for a few moments after respectfully allowing for the departure of Fergie from the scene, I started trying to think of the best diplomatic answer that wouldn't get me into trouble with anyone. Walking outside amid the wild celebrations, even if I had thought it, I couldn't have said to them, "Oh and by the way, I'll be supporting Chelsea come May."

For various reasons I had to drive home from London that night and had plenty of time to think about my divided loyalties. In my time at Chelsea the fans had treated me in an extraordinary way; in five years I can't remember one negative noise aimed at me from the terraces or the stands. Even if I made a mess of something they encouraged me to get the ball again and have another go at beating two or three players. Playing in front of that positive vibe was like mainlining adrenaline, like getting a hit of pure confidence injected into my veins every time I stepped on the pitch.

I was voted player of the year twice in my five years there, joining an exclusive list that includes Charlie Cooke, John Hollins, Ray Wilkins, Gianfranco Zola, John Terry and Frank Lampard as double winners. For younger readers I have to be honest and underline that maybe the standard in the squad in my time wasn't quite as high as it is now. Even so, some fans who write on websites, blogs and the like, still place me in the club's best XI in Chelsea history. Pure nonsense of course, but when people regard you that highly it is bordering on impossible to turn on them and cheer for the opposition.

I had hardly reached the outskirts of London on my drive home before I quickly decided that wanting Chelsea to lose was just not an option. What about Everton though? They had never voted me their player of the year and I have yet to see a fan's all-time XI – by even the most deluded Toffee – who thought that I merited a mention.

At Goodison there were truly great players to play with and even cup finals to play in, but for me there were also serious injuries and my expressive playing style was curtailed. There wasn't as friendly an atmosphere in the dressing room, probably because it was ultra competitive and understandably so because of the far higher expectations at the club. In my first season an FA Cup Final defeat after extra time to a fantastic Liverpool side and fifth place in the league was considered abject failure. Compare that to how the same feat would be considered now by Everton's fans.

If it has less gloriously enjoyable, the fans were still generally indulgent and positive towards me. In fact since leaving, rather oddly I have grown to love the club more and more. It is a phenomenon that a good number of other former players have noted.

It is an extraordinarily friendly club in terms of the fans and the people who run it. While near neighbours Liverpool are a global brand and understandably always appear to have their eyes on the corporate big bucks, Everton are undeniably the people's club in the city. That ethic certainly chimes with my feeling towards football in comparison to how the Reds and to be brutally honest, also how the modern Chelsea, are perceived.

What about the managers then? I have known Davie Moyes since I was 13 when we played at the same boys' club. We grew up sharing precisely the same values as far as the game was concerned and they are still ingrained to this day. So even though I have considered Guus Hiddink to be one of the top three managers in the world over the past decade, how could I cheer against my friend?

Hiddink did however rekindle my boyhood love for the purity and romance of the game. I spent a month in South Korea following his team fight all the way to the semi final of the 2002 World Cup. It made me remember the reasons why I gave so much of my life to a sport, because in the right hands it can become more than that, it can be an inspiration to an entire nation.

At Wembley next Saturday the atmosphere will be phenomenal. The stadium will be a sea of blue and because of the clubs involved, the supporters they have, coupled with the acoustics at the ground, the noise levels may well be unsurpassed by any other game that England has ever witnessed. Due to my link with both clubs I have been asked to cover it for TV, radio and newspapers as well as been asked to come along as a guest of not only Chelsea but Everton as well. The offers from 'corporate gigs' on the day alone would have paid for a family trip to Florida this summer.

The problem is that I was asked months ago, long before even the quarter-finals, to cover the Scottish Cup final for BBC Scotland TV. I said yes and would not go back on my word. So I will have a sea of blue in front of me, but it will be Falkirk and Rangers flags instead. In an odd way I am actually quite happy at the outcome. At Wembley it would have been a torture because in my heart I couldn't have wanted either team to lose, so it is probably better just to turn away and let them sort it out themselves.