Jack mints his millions

Published on Saturday 15 November 2008 18:50

SOMETIMES THINGS happen in golf that are so depressing they all but destroy any warm and fuzzy notions one might harbour about the game we Scots gave to the world. The realisation that not everyone sitting on a certain golf club's committee is entirely honest or honourable once came as a bit of shock. That the architectural and strategic quality – or otherwise – of so many tournament venues means virtually nothing to the money-grabbers who run the world's various tours tends to get me d

Now comes news that the man who owns the greatest playing record in history has sold out to an extent one would never have thought possible. Step forward Jack Nicklaus. For a fee of 'only' $1m, the 18-time major champion will design up to three holes in your back yard. He'll even throw in a practice area if there is room.

Actually building said holes is down to you, of course. And don't expect the 'Olden Bear' to actually show up and inspect the property on anything other than a computer screen. But Jack will make an appearance for the official opening ceremony and play the opening 'round' with you and your guests. Not only that, he'll sign the club and ball he uses, as well as throwing in a custom set of Nicklaus clubs and a personalised bag. What a guy.

Even in these hard-pressed economic times, tacky, tacky, tacky.

Variety performers Down Under

OVER the last few weeks much has been written about the European Tour's new-fangled and big-bucked 'Race to Dubai.' The often insular US press, as you'd expect, has been generally scornful, sniffily reminding their readers that Europe's circuit is rife with appearance fees and, Anthony Kim apart, bereft of Americans willing to leave the comfort zone that is the PGA Tour.

Now, quite apart from the fact that under-the-table financial incentives to participate in certain events are alive and well in the Land of the Free – oh, the irony – such a short-term and shortsighted view is surprising. While this Dubai thingy is far from perfect, it is, like the so-far disastrous Fed-Ex Cup, a work in progress.

Witness the silhouette of various iconic landmarks that adorns the newly designed European Tour website. It certainly needs some adjustment. For one thing, England (host to three ET events in 2009) in the shape of Big Ben is included but there is no sign of Scotland, where the tour will make four visits next year. And for another, the appearance of the Sydney Opera House is surely short-lived. Not only does that city not host an ET event, Down Under's only tournament, the Australian Masters, is likely to disappear from the 2010 schedule.

Still, despite that snub to a land boasting so many of the world's truly great courses, the very best Australian players have already signed up, attracted not only by the large dollar signs but the opportunity to introduce a little cultural and golfing diversity to the week-to-week sameness on offer in the US.

"I joined because I wanted to expand my golf, I wanted to play a different style of golf," confirms Robert Allenby. "I was getting a little bit stale. The courses in the States are set up the same way every week. I am sick of playing out of six-inch rough."

Geoff Ogilvy, tied for third in last week's season-opening HSBC Championship, is another Aussie who has taken the plunge.

"I would like to add a little variety to my schedule that has not been there for a while," says the former US Open champion. "That and the fact that, for professional golfers, Dubai is going to be the place to be next November."

America would do well to listen to such sentiments. Over the next few years they could well become more and more prevalent. One would like to think so anyway.

Much room for improvement

NEWS that only minor changes have been made to the Augusta National course that will host the Masters next spring will surely disappoint those who despair of the demented direction the storied venue has taken over the last decade or so. With the course a mere ten yards shorter than it was for this year's 'toonamint', club chairman Billy Payne announced that the tees at the first, seventh and 15th holes had been extended at the front and that a couple of trees on the right side of the 15th fairway had been removed.

What Payne didn't mention was that any semi-rough – 'first cut' in Masters-speak – would be removed, or that the forest to the right of the 11th fairway would disappear, or that the seventh hole would return to something like its proper length, or that the very-silly 16th green would be blown up, or that the greens would be slowed to something like a sensible pace.

In other words, mostly through misplaced deference to his predecessor, the un-lamented 'Hootie' Johnson, Payne has chosen not to restore much of what once made the Masters the most fun of the four majors. Instead, we are stuck with a course where no one has broken 280 since 2005 and where this year Trevor Immelman won with a closing 75. As someone once said, "difficult isn't necessarily good." Or interesting.

Sergio won't settle for seconds

SO THERE you have it, Sergio Garcia (left) is officially the world's second-best golfer. It says here he will stay there for a long time to come. Yes, the gritty and determined Padraig Harrington has won three majors in the last 18 months. Yes, the Irishman saw off Garcia to win two of those. But, whisper it, the Spaniard is actually the better player, especially from tee-to-green. Look at the numbers if you doubt that assertion. And look for Sergio to break his majors duck in 2009.