Scottish Football Briefing - 23 March

Published on Friday 23 March 2007 15:37

Aberdeen

Jimmy Calderwood wasn’t hugely impressed with his side’s defending in the 3-0 defeat to Rangers at Ibrox. And who can blame him? He muttered this: "We defended far too deep. It is hard enough coming here without giving them a three-goal start. If Rangers had to do a lot to win the game then you can understand it, but we made it easy for them really. It is so annoying. We need to work ourselves up and defend like we can defend and not like amateurs."

Better news for Jimmy C, Karim Touzani has agreed a new two-year deal with the Dons. The manager said: "Karim has told me everything is fine with the contract on the table, so we will get the paperwork finalised now. It has taken a bit of time to tie up, but that was at our end rather than anything to do with the player." The worry is he may not like it when the contract is no longer on the table. How will he feel when it's in a drawer? Or nailed to a passing antelope? It's a concern.

Celtic

In a rather spectacular display of hyperbole, Wee Gordon reckons Celtic should have had five penalties in their 1-0 defeat at the hands of Falkirk. To be fair, they missed the one they got so there's no guarantee Celtic would have done any better with another four. Whatever your view, this is what Gordon believes: "I think we’d all agree there were maybe another four penalties we could have had – not just 'maybe' penalties. On a good day, on a better finishing day, a better decision day, we'd have won the game easily. It just seemed to be 90 minutes of making chances and dominating."

In a recent interview Henrik Larsson said he went to Celtic because they were the only club interested in him at the time. Sir Henrik said: "Wim Jansen knew what he had in me as a player and I just wanted to enjoy my football again. I had to give it a shot and I don’t regret it." And what a shot. It's always annoyed me how some pundits have written off Larsson because he played in Scotland in his prime. They conveniently forget how he turned the game for Barcelona in the Champions League final and banged them in left, right and centre for Sweden and the Celts in Europe. Larsson is one of the best strikers we've ever seen.

Dundee Utd

The Tangerines have gone and signed up Lee Wilkie on a new two-year deal. You have to admire the big defender for his determination in coming back to the game after having both knees devoured by enraged wasps. Or something like that. Actually he suffered knee ligament injuries and indeed is now playing without a cruciate ligament in his damaged knee. Good lord, it makes you wonder why you need them in the first place. The cruciate - the appendix of the knee.

In other news, chairman Eddie Thompson reckons appointing Craig Levein saved the Arabs from a relegation dogfight. Begin the hagiography: "I'm not criticising Craig Brewster. But, in my opinion, if Craig Levein had not come in then we would have been in danger of relegation. He has done a great job up until now. But, for next season, he will be able to do it from the first game. He turned things around and I’m sure he'll improve our league standing." Now I'm no expert, but saying that if they hadn't sacked Craig Brewster the club might have gone down, sounds fairly critical to me.

Dunfermline

Jim Hamilton's out of the Scottish Cup semi with Hibs, mainly because he had the ill grace to require a cartilage operation that'll keep him out for five weeks. The decision to undergo the operation was taken as he was suspended for two games anyway. So there's a lesson for young footballers everywhere, don't get sent off or they'll send you to get bits cut out. And who says they'll stop at the knees? Careful now.

Woah there Dunfermline. Steady. A 3-1 away win at Caley Thistle and the impossible dream may now be alive. Coach Stephen Kenny certainly believes the Pars could yet beat the drop. Here he is: "It was an important victory, but from our point of view we have Motherwell away in our next game and we can't look beyond that. We are six points from getting off the bottom and we have an inferior goal difference. We wanted to give ourselves a chance though and I think we've done that."

Falkirk

The Bairns' 21-year-old central defender Darren Barr is apparently being stalked by all manner of football clubs the length and breadth of the country. And John Hughes seems fairly resigned to losing him. You can almost taste the resignation: "Darren is on a long-term contract but it's unlikely he’ll be here much longer. Other clubs have asked me about him and, although he’s still learning he's committed to the club and is a winner." This raises the question, if he's so committed to the club, why is he likely to be on his bike? Oh, and one of the clubs that have asked about him is Celtic.

Meanwhile, despite revelling in the 1-0 win over Celtic that nearly made me choke on a jammy dodger while watching Soccer Saturday, Mr Hughes is bemoaning the red card handed to Carl Finnigan. In a similar vein to last week, Yogi had this to say: "It's a contact sport still, isn't it? Once again, we got three or four players booked and one sent off and I think we're getting called in front of the SFA for our disciplinary record. But I'd like to think we've got a case as some of the sendings-off we've had recently beggar belief." It is indeed a contact sport, though I think it depends on the relative power and positioning of the contact. Ball and a hint of ankle, fine. Temple and a trip to casualty, not so much.

Hearts

Comedy football club Hearts appear to have dispensed with the services of yet another coach, with Valdas Ivanauskas leaving by mutual consent. Presumably the kind of mutual consent where the out-going manager has to be prised away from the desk with cold chisels. After three weeks away from the club on "football business", he's off. I wonder what he had to say on the matter? Wonder no longer: "The team is in the process of forming itself and I can see it will have a great future. I would like to thank the club staff. Above all, I would like to express my gratitude to the best fans in Scotland, especially those who have given their support when times were tough." I still reckon Terry Venables will manage them at some point. I base this on nothing other than the law of averages.

In the midst of all that, Craig Gordon has come out with some fairly strong things to say after the shock 4-0 home gubbing at the hands of Dundee United. "I think as a team we didn't show enough passion, enough heart, enough fight, enough desire to win games to get this team back into Europe. For that to be missing in a Hearts team playing at Tynecastle is quite frankly a disgrace. I wasn't happy, at the end I had my say for quite a considerable time. Christophe Berra had a say but that was about the size of it, there wasn't the reaction I thought there would be in the changing room to a team that had just been beaten 4-0. I don’t know if it's a cultural thing. We played like a team of individuals and didn't listen to a thing the coaches had been telling us all week." Blimey O’Reilly. Goan yursel, Craig.

Apparently Hearts are going to demand 5 million from Wigan when the signing of Andy Webster goes to a transfer arbitration tribunal. And yes, they do genuinely mean pounds. Rather than Turkish lira. Madness, just madness.

Hibernian

Well now, that was a CIS Cup Final performance to be fairly proud of and no mistake. Just the five goals for the Hibees against an increasingly bemused looking Kilmarnock. We better let jubilant manager John of Collins have a word on the whole triumphant occasion: "Sixteen years is a long time to wait for a trophy for a club like this. Hopefully, it won't be another 16 years before we win another one. I thought we had a poor first half and Kilmarnock had us under pressure. But, once we got the second goal, we grew in confidence and showed our class. It is a special moment, but the players have worked hard since I arrived at the club in October and deserve it." And so they do. I'm quite fond of Hibs, they seem to go about things the right way. And John has magnificent hair, so rarely a single follicle out of place and always a deep lustrous shine. The club have waited too long to be led by a barnet like that.

Inverness CT

Charlie Christie should be staying at Inverness Caley, despite fevered speculation to the contrary. I say fevered, someone mentioned it down the pie shop. Once. While drunk. But still, we best give chairman Alan Savage the chance to set the record straight: "We had a good discussion. And we’re working with Charlie Christie to write new chapters in this club's extraordinary success story." Chapters? Story? We call that a metaphor you know. Anyway, there’s more: "It's back to business as usual. We needed to hear Charlie’s own thoughts and we had a frank and open discussion from which I emerged very reassured." I like the way this man talks, flowery but to the point. Lovely stuff.

Kilmarnock

As Hibs celebrate, so must the Killie faithful weep into their award-winning pies. It's all very well losing a final, but to go down 5-1 must have been a bit of a kick in the orchestras. To be fair to Jim Jefferies he was missing a few of his more senior players. Indeed that seems to be the cornerstone of his justification: "You need people like David Fernandez, Danny Invincibile and Momo Sylla when facing the better teams. My fear was that the occasion would be too much for some of them and the day passed us by big style. But it was never 5-1, although the scoreline will show that." Indeed it will, what with Hibs scoring five goals and Killie just the one. It’s how the scoring system works unfortunately, Jim. Sorry.

Motherwell

Maurice Malpas has let me down this week. So often he's available with a cheery word, a defiant message or a searing blast at recalcitrant players. But this week, nothing. Not a word. Not a sausage.

Rangers

Kris Boyd is all over the campaign to stop fans singing sectarian songs. As, to be honest, all right thinking members of society should be. Anyway, he had these things to say on the matter: "It's been emphasised that some fans should stop singing sectarian songs for the good of the club. The fans give us great backing abroad so hopefully the club won't be punished by UEFA for a few going over the top. If it can be stopped at football it would be a giant step forward for Scottish society."

With the whole sectarian song stramash in mind Rangers are considering refusing tickets for away games in European competition. Jim Templeton of the Rangers Supporters Assembly said: "We had reservations in as much the feeling would be that we were going to penalise the many good Rangers supporters for the sake of a few who simply don’t know how to behave themselves. Right now absolutely nothing has been decided whatsoever. We will mull things over and meet with the club again next week."

St Mirren

If you think Mr Malpas has slipped up with a week of radio silence, imagine my surprise that Gus MacPherson is incommunicado. You would have thought that with Dunfermline snagging a win up at Caley, the big man may have a rallying call to his troops, a show of determination for the Buddies to not be dragged back into the relegation dog fight. But words were there none. I hope he's all right. Maybe someone should pop round to be sure.

First Division

Davie Irons is to remain in charge at Gretna until the end of the season after Rowan Alexander took a leave of absence due to illness. Director Graeme Muir: "We respect what Rowan has achieved in recent times, but now he needs time and space to recover from this illness. He's seeking advice and that’s a good thing. All members of staff have been informed and are supportive." So let's hope he perks up soon. But Davie Irons? What a name, what a genuine football name. Davie Irons. That, my friends, is the heart of football right there.

Second Division

Oh dear, that's George Shaw away from Forfar. After just 10 months in the hot seat at Station Park he's been shown the door by Loons chairman David McGregor. We best let the man with his finger on the trapdoor switch have a word: "With just seven games to go we need the situation sorted so that a new manager can have a look at the squad." There are so many things wrong with ditching a manager after ten months that I just can't be bothered go into them. Loons. Quite literally.

Third Division

The Third Division is simply too depressing to look at this week. Every other day it seems the Sons are playing another game, such is the build-up of postponed games and hideous punishment rituals. The latest horror was a 1-0 loss at East Fife. Good luck to them I suppose.

Premiership

Liverpool, we all know, have eight squillion pounds to spend in the summer transfer window and an array of players to choose from - most of whom one would imagine would be Spanish judging by previous transfer activity. However, the most baffling rumour I've picked up about them is that Frank Lampard is on his way to Anfield. I can see him leaving Stamford Bridge if Mourinho, as expected, slings his hook in the summer, but surely he won’t end up at Liverpool. The Reds also supposedly want Aaron Lennon, who plays for some North London outfit at the moment, and are prepared to offer 13 million and Peter Crouch - which is nowhere near enough.

David Villa is somewhat in the frame for Liverpool as well. But then Chelsea and Manchester United are also after the Spanish striker, with ManU probably favourites. Unless they decide to go for Fernando Torres. They're both going to cost in excess of 25 million, so it'll be interesting to see who they go for.

Villa are also ready with the cash and a new name has emerged as they hunt for a striker. Darren Bent, I'm told, is now top of their hit list after they were told there's no way they’re getting Robbie Keane. Completely different kind of player to Keane of course, but you could see him linking up well with Ashley Young and John Carew. Villa could be all right next season. They won't be of course, but they've got the potential.

Best Laid Claims

The post-split fixtures have been announced, by which I mean the ones in the SPL rather than something involving a holiday in Croatia. Rangers have got Aberdeen at Pittodrie in the final game of the season, so that should be a hands-across-the-ocean style celebration of fraternal love. The Old Firm meet at Ibrox on 5 May and the final Edinburgh derby is on 12 May at Tynecastle. Oh, and Celtic could win the league at Kilmarnock on 22 April. Unless Rangers explode of course.