Dry Rehhagel tactics a real Greek tragedy

Published on Saturday 10 July 2004 02:33

MY SISTER’S kids had spent all day making flags for the front door, with an attention to detail that was highly impressive. "How did you get them to look so good?" I asked Rory, remembering my feeble tracing-paper efforts for bygone international tournaments. My 12-year-old nephew looked at me as if I was stupid; as if it was all Greek to me. "Copied them off the internet, of course."

Thus the stage was set for a final which would enthral, delight and inspire, which would get young Rory off his skateboard and back onto the football pitch, and which would gloriously illustrate why we all love the game so much.

Didn’t happen. Nothing against their crafty coach, Otto Rehhagel, or their previously unheralded players or their mental fans, but Greece winning Euro 2004 was bad for football. Very bad indeed.

I know it’s a great story, that for drama and surprise this triumph is unmatched, but the Greeks are the most defensive-minded side to win an international tournament in my lifetime. Unfair? Well, let’s consider these stats just in...

Number of times sis admitted she fancied the Greek goalie, who she re-named Georgios Clooney - 7.

Number of Greek players to feature in the experts’ teams of the tournament - 3, Georgios and a couple of defenders.

Defending is a skill, or at least a trade, but shouldn’t the winners of a major international football competition boast at least one attacker or creative midfielder who gets the armchair audience on its feet, causing mass spillage of Sainsbury’s tzatziki?

But for Greece, that’s as good as it gets ...

Number of intriguing new tactical insights the Greek performances bestowed on football - 0.

Number of Greek goals to feature in the "Best Of ..." lists - 0.

Their last three games were won with a single goal, a header from a right-sided cross. Two came from atrociously-defended corners, and the corner that produced the winner in the final was, in the 56th minute, the Greeks’ first of the match.

Number of times since Sunday that I’ve re-run a piece of spellbinding Greek skill in my head - 0.

They made maximum use of minimal forward forays, scoring a mere seven goals to unleash a plate-smash frenzy of headline clichs. But one more for rubbish Russia in the final group game and they would never have reached the knockout stages.

Number of fouls committed - a lot. Although the Greek tackling was more or less legitimate in the final, the defending in the opening two matches bordered on the desperate - almost every time a Portuguese or Spanish player threatened, he was dragged to the ground - and in their semi, referee Pierluigi Collina was ridiculously lenient.

I’D mentioned the exalted bald one’s failings before this game, and after this inglorious farewell to the international stage, David Miller of The Observer was moved to remark: "Collina failed us. Not just the Czech Republic, not the European Championship, but the whole of football."

There’s more ...

Number of Greek replica strips purchased by boys (or girls) rushing into the street to replicate the smell-my-breath, count-my-nosehairs marking of Georgios Seitaridis and Panagiotis Fyssas - 0.

Number of public-park kickabouts that have begun with shouts of "Bags we’re Greece!" or featured self-supplied commentaries along the lines of "...and it’s Angelos Charisteas now, he passes to ... no, hang on, Greece don’t play with anyone else up front ... goal!" - 0.

Number of days that passed before I started to forget all about Euro 2004 - a mere 4.

And how about this for the quote of the tournament, if indeed it’s not the understatement of the century: "We’re not Brazil" - Otto Rehhagel.

Needless to say, after this Greek tragedy, Rory got straight back on his skateboard again.