Aidan Smith: History-making Hibs are at it again – well, sort of

Published on Saturday 3 October 2009 22:56

WE HIBS fans must get our kicks where we can, and as a result are prone to the odd bit of exaggeration. For instance, we founded the great continent of Europe, discovered it while ploutering around in a Hibernian-green boat. (Simultaneous translation for the hard-of-hearing, the incredulous and the Jambo Village: we were the first British team to compete in the European Cup).

We were the first to install floodlights, the first with shirt sponsorship (getting desperate now), the first to sell individual sachets of sauce for the half-time pies, so doing away with the industrial-strength glooper.

We've won more Drybrough Cups than anyone else, although of course we're talking about the competition in its original format; Aberdeen match our two triumphs if the vastly inferior revival is taken into account. (How can the most inferior contest in Scottish football history have an even less credible version? – Sports Ed].

And so it goes on. We're the only Brazil-enlightening, slope-dwelling (Not any more – EU Straight Banana Directive] white-sleeve-originating (Tripe! – Arsenal historian], celebrity-fan-laden, move-up-here's-Fish, hey-hey-we're-the-junkies, sunshine-guaranteed, Scottish Cup-more-tricky football club there's ever been. In Leith.

Now that our balance sheet is the envy of the credit-crunched and the bankrupt, now that Rod Petrie is being acclaimed as the finance visionary he truly is rather than the stern uncle who'll demand the change from a five-pence transaction for four penny chews, I was beginning to think we'd achieved all we could – in other words, that our glistening litany of not-very-much was complete.

But then Hibs only go and find another claim to fame: The Biggest Number Of Players Selected For A Scotland Squad From A Club Outwith The Old Firm Even Though The Vast Majority Aren't Ours Anymore And In Fact Turn Out For The Old Firm And So Have Probably Forgotten They Did, Ever.

There's no point trying to remind me that only Derek Riordan out of this sensational septet is currently a Hibee. Or that the fixture in question is a friendly, in far-off Japan, one non-football nation against another whose bum is verging on oot the windae, being played in slightly tragic, stuck-at-the-wrong-party conditions while countries still with a chance of qualifying for South Africa resume their urgent business. Nope, this is another tiny Hibs reverse-triumph and no mistake.

Sadly, I can remember the last time I made a similar tally: five Hibs players from the Turnbull's Tornadoes team were picked for the Scottish League squad for their match against the English League, a fixture that hasn't been played since Drybrough's Heavy was being spilled on Oxford Bags in the pre-kick-off rush to get the pints down.

In an unusual development, all were actual Hibs players. They included Pat Stanton and young bucks pushing for the full squad such as John Brownlie and Alex Cropley, plus the mature Alan Gordon, 1972-73's top goalscorer, nonchalant headers a speciality. In a development that was all too usual, however – remember, this is Hibs – the game was frozen off.

Alongside Riordan, the tenuous Hibees for this tenuous match are Scott Brown, Gary Caldwell, Steven Fletcher, Garry O'Connor, Kevin Thomson and Steven Whittaker. With another Scot who's been capped and now back at Hibs (Ian Murray), an Englishman (David Murphy), a Frenchman (Guillaume Beuzelin) and an Irishman (Ivan Sproule), they comprised the best Easter Road side since Turnbull's Tornadoes, ignoring the fact none of this 11 could play in goal (neither could the accredited keepers).

The team that could have been, the Hibs that could have won more than just the League Cup every 16 years. Of the lot, Riordan is the most gifted. Maybe I would say that, since the rest have gone, but his goal at Motherwell last week was casual brilliance.

The Japan game is being called his last chance. That's a bit rich considering it would only be his second cap and tumshies such as Craig Beattie have been picked before him and serious ball-bursters such as Steven Thompson have been afforded too many opportunities.

Yet the challenge has been set. Come on Deek, you can do it. There's a whole lot of history resting on your slim shoulders.

To say nothing of the non-history.