Goodman, 64, revealed that he called Upton Park and hoodwinked them into believing he had been a star turn at Gayfield. "I told them, 'You won't have heard of me because I've been playing in Scotland. I've only just moved down.
"They asked me if I
'd played professionally and I said 'Yes, I played all last season for Arbroath and was very good indeed'."
But officials at the Hammers knew a red herring when they saw one, or perhaps an Arbroath smokie in this case, and rumbled the teenage wannabe's ruse.
Goodman explained: "They phoned Arbroath, found out it was a pack of lies and told me to clear off."
After that knockback, a career in ballroom dancing beckoned instead for the twinkle-toed Goodman and the rest is history. Whatever next? Bruce Forsyth claiming to be Tam Forsyth's brother?
Tom the oldest swinger in townGOLFER Tom Galloway was hoping to shoot his age in the first round of the Scottish Alliance championship at Moray Golf Club in Lossiemouth yesterday – but the 98-year-old had to settle for a first-round 110.
Galloway, who celebrated his 90th birthday by playing three rounds of golf in one day, did not take up the sport until he was 62 when he took early retirement from an Edinburgh brewers. "I made up my mind I was not going to sit about the house," he said. "I went to evening classes to learn the game."
Peru ball boys spark brawlTHERE may just be something in Raymond Domenech's deep mistrust of ball boys. The little scamps have been accused of attempting to delay a Peruvian league game by deflating the balls, sparking a mass brawl between officials and players.
The Deportivo San Martin v Universitario game descended into chaos as the hosts, reduced to nine men after having two sent off, attempted to hold out for a point. As Universitario pressed for a late winner, their officials complained that the home team's ball boys were deliberately deflating the spare balls to hold up play.
TALES FROM THE TABS
MESSI SET FOR HAMPDENTHE will-he, won't-he play at Hampden saga took a fresh twist yesterday with the Daily Record claiming that Lionel Messi WILL line up for Argentina against Scotland in next month's glamour friendly at the national stadium.
It had been assumed that the Barcelona superstar would be stopped from playing after his club struck a deal with the Argentina FA ahead of his successful participation in the Olympics, preventing him from playing in future friendlies.
But the Record claimed that Messi is desperate to play against Scotland, and such is his standing within Barcelona, that the club are prepared to bend the rules to keep their star player happy.
The Daily Express carried an interview with Cardiff City manager Dave Jones, expressing his amazement that Ross McCormack has been left out of George Burley's Scotland squad. McCormack has scored six goals in nine games for the Bluebirds and Jones said: "It is up to Ross to keep doing well for Cardiff. If he does that then his Scotland chance will come."
The full article contains 573 words and appears in The Scotsman newspaper.
