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MY MUM was the perfect mum really. I guess your relationship with your mother informs how you treat all other women. I'm very close to mine because I was the youngest of three boys.
LOS ANGELES might have enjoyed all the glitz, the tears and a jubilant Danny Boyle's Tigger-ish pogoing with his golden statuette, but The Other Oscars bash was held in Edinburgh, red carpet and all.
MAYBE I'm just a hard case without a romantic bone in my body. Maybe it's because I once drove off and left my boyfriend alone at the railway station, eyes closed and pouting into thin air, because I was in such a hurry, I completely forgot to kiss him goodbye. Either way, I know I'm not going to be popular when I say this, but I have realised it's a pet peeve of mine and I may as well 'fess up – I hate kissing in public.
I DON'T know about you, but for me, a diet is precipitated by acute anguish. Full-length mirrors are reliable catalysts, as are formal events requiring a dressy frock – I usually feel too fat to justify a purchase, and then insult piles onto injury when I haul out the old stalwarts only to discover that they don't fit either.
WOE is me. This credit crunch is an awful business. Not long ago, my husband's business was worth £100 million and I was boasting to anyone who would listen that we would soon be worth £1 billion, but since the economy took such a colossal nosedive, it's been a complete Turner-round.
SIREN is a great fan of stockings and so she notes with particular sadness the passing of two of the finest, if dramatically diverse, exponents of that most alluring hosiery.
YOU see what I'm doing in the picture? Not the concealing myself behind a chair, though that's part of it. I mean my necklace. Big, isn't it? And shiny!
MY BROTHER-IN-LAW has a list of 20 things he's looking for in a woman and he refuses to marry anyone who doesn't fulfil all 20 requirements. He won't tell us what's on the list, but the two who have come closest to winning his heart (scoring 19 and 18 respectively) were a Norwegian Christian fundamentalist living in the Arctic and a former Miss Teen Nepal.
THEY keep you warm, germ-free and update your look in one move… Liz Hoggard & Fiona MacGregor sing the praises of gloves
I'M having something of an issue with my tear ducts. I know that it's de rigueur for reality TV winners, losers, nobodies and the very occasional somebody to shed a few tears on screen (it's key to pulling in votes, you see) but am I taking it a step too far?
TIME to put down your pens of feminism and relax, Mesdames Steinem, Greer and Wolf: the women's movement has a new champion.
EVER heard the word "baku-shan"? You might not know the term, but you'll definitely be familiar with what it describes. It's a Japanese word meaning "a woman who looks better from behind".
Ditch the dye and free the silver fox within – going grey with the right colour and cut can be glamorous, discovers Emma Cowing
The invitation has arrived, you’re all excited about your friend tying the knot, but now you’re starting to fret about the present, the outfit and the etiquette. Fear not, though. Alison Kerr has consulted the experts for help…
MY GROWN-UP GAP YEAR BY SUSAN, 51
Much loved by farmers' wives and yummy mummies, the iconic range is battling to prove its green credentials
Illiam McCade, the husband of our regular commentator Fiona, is a full-time father and homemaker.
THERE is a scene about half-way through the fifth series of Sex and the City, when the four women realise that, for the first time in years, they are all single simultaneously.