Daddy Cool: ‘There hav ebeen innumerable cases of theft’

By JEREMY WATSON
Published on Tuesday 14 February 2012 00:00

THERE’S a little pot in the kitchen that has always been a useful depository for the change accumulated during the normal course of the day.

In would go the £1 coins, the 50p pieces and other useful coinage of the realm, settling down with a satisfying clunk. It was not unknown for the odd £2 to make its way in there, safe in the knowledge that, should you need a little spare cash for a sandwich, a newspaper or a coffee, it could always be found there. As anyone who knows me will testify, breaking into a note brings on a bout of depression of unfathomable depths.

Recently, I have to report – to you first, and possibly to Lothian and Borders’ finest should it continue – that there have been innumerable cases of theft. That this has coincided with the return home of Daughter No 1 and her requirement for daily bus fares to her (paid) place of work is, I am sure, a coincidence. I must point out that Daughter No 2 would have probably dipped her hand in also if her sister hadn’t got there first.

This brought on an interesting philosophical debate around the dinner table as to whether property – including cash – within the family home belongs to all the family or to the individual who is the supposed owner of the property. Clearly there is a divergence of views. While I, with the law of the land on my side, ventured the argument that it’s my money and taking it without consent does indeed constitute an illegal action, others made the astonishing claim that everything left out in full view is fair game. Finders’ keepers, so the argument went, and I was voted down 3-1 on this, with Mrs Watson – it’s not unknown for her to dip in the pot either when I’m not looking – siding with her daughters.

Well, OK, but how far does this go and does the same rule apply to everyone? There is long-standing and recurring conflict over the ‘borrowing’ of clothes and make-up (not me, of course) but the three of them are quite capable of horrendous ‘ownership’ rammies over these.

Then there is the question of laptop ownership. Parental laptops are there for anyone’s use, apparently, but touch, even breathe, over a laptop belonging to a daughter and the atmosphere turns distinctly menacing.

While parental bank accounts are there for the looting, daughter-held funds are strictly off-limits.

So I’ve left the pot forlornly empty of late. I have a new pot in a secret place and, as yet, it has not been discovered. It’s only a matter of time, but for now I’m enjoying my new-found wealth.

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