Welcome

YOU just never know what will drop on to your desk in this job. In recent weeks, I have had letters that have made me smile and letters that have made me fume. This week, I got one that did a bit of both and left me utterly bemused.

I opened the envelope and all it contained was a cut-out piece of Recommends from 1 October. On page II, next to my welcome, was a white sticker with these words written on it: "David, Thank you for Recommends. It is a wonderful production."

But just as my spirits were lifting, I noticed the red scrawl underneath. It said: "Is your wife a goat?" To the left, the writer had circled the words "I have four kids" in the welcome column.

Clearly my wife isn't a goat (I refrain from further comment on the grounds of marital harmony) and I'm sure "kids" is an appropriate shorthand for children.

So why did this person – who included no name, no address and no note beyond what is described above – bother? I took it home to show my wife and kids. They all thought it was funny, then one of my children butted me and chewed the letter up.

But WHY? Why go to the bother of sending something like that to a newspaper? If I have ever felt compelled to write to a newspaper – or to e-mail someone or other with a compliant or observation – I have done so with a clear purpose. This, as one of my CHILDREN would say, was clearly sent by a RANDOM.

Back to reality. We had a fantabulous response to our Three Chimneys competition last week and the winner is David 'Billy the Kid' Lee from Musselburgh. Only kidding! Selected at random from well over 600 entries is Mr Armand Fisher of Wigton in Cumbria.

I very much hope that you enjoy your time at The Three Chimneys. I am very envious.