COR, the sexiest hotel in Scotland! I dropped everything and scampered down to Greenside to see for myself just how "decadent" the bathrooms are, how "sultry" the decor, in the Glasshouse.
That's how the judges painted it in the Hotel of the Year Awards at the weekend and, have to say, I was shocked and stunned.
Had its owner, Peter Tyrie, lost the plot? Here's a chap who owned the squeaky-clean Balmoral, the Caley and Gleneagles and now here he is selling decadence and sex.
I had Glasshouse general manager Daniel Pereira escort me to one of the bathrooms and, OK, it oozed sensuality with its spa bath and sauna and Trevor Yerbury nudes festooning the walls.
This, though, is in the one and only 500-a-night deluxe suite. The other bathrooms? Fine. But my own, permanently habituated by Goldie Hawn, Joan Collins, Shakira Caine and Jackie Collins, is sexier.
Where these ladies, all past acquaintances, can't compete is with the delights of the aforementioned "deluxe" facility.
It has accommodated the likes of Kylie Minogue, Annie Lennox and Ronan Keating.
When Meryl Streep stayed in the Glasshouse, the swanky suite wasn't available, nor was it bookable when Kelly Osborne checked in.
But would you want to let Kelly loose in your pride-and-joy bathroom?
If pernickity Peter Tyrie, who once personally ripped all the tiles off a brand new bathroom's walls when he bought the Balmoral, keeps selling decadence at the Glasshouse, maybe he'll inspire the Eagles to write another Hotel California.
Let's shake on it, Tom
Don't get tetchy, Tommy. Life's too short. "These photos of me they keep using in your paper, I look better in Frank Boyle's cartoons," he told me.
Tom Ponton was having a wee poke at himself on his way to the City Chambers last night for a 50th anniversary celebration of the Edinburgh Masonic Club.
It's based in Shrub Place, off Leith Walk and redevelopment there will bring the brotherhood brand new premises.
Ponton has been a lifelong member, supporting their charitable work. So you're a mason?
"Yes, and I thought that's an open secret." Something odd about the handshake as he continued towards the Chambers.