Smack? No, most parents ignore naughtiness

Published on Monday 20 October 2008 22:22

THE vast majority of parents – four out of five – think smacking their children is neither useful nor effective, according to research from a university.

The parenting report, published by the Centre for Research on Families and Relationships (CRFR) at the University of Edinburgh, found that

68 per cent of mothers and 59 per cent of their partners said they dealt with naughtiness among their nursery-age children by ignoring bad behaviour.

According to the study, only 16 per cent of mothers smacked their toddlers, although 63 per cent admitted to raising their voice or shouting to tackle childcare problems.

Sue Palmer, an expert in child development and author of Toxic Childhood, said that similar studies backed up the finding that people with no qualifications were more likely to shout and smack, because that was the parenting they received.

Many parents were found to use techniques popularised by programmes such as Supernanny, with one device being the "naughty step", where children are sent to calm down when they are being disruptive.

Professor Lynn Jamieson, from the CRFR, said: "This report highlights interesting trends, but it is also important to remember that how parenting impacts on children is a complex matter and we need to look carefully at claims that there is a 'one size fits all' style of parenting."

The report is an analysis of data from the Growing Up in Scotland (GUS) study and comes only weeks after MPs voted against enforcing a UK-wide smacking ban.

The GUS study, commissioned by the Scottish Government, surveyed parents of 8,000 children about a range of issues affecting their parenting style.

REMOVE TREATS

REPORT SAYS:

Those who use reward systems are more likely to use this, with 51 per cent of mothers and 63 per cent of partners who mention having used a reward system having withdrawn privileges from their toddler. Withdrawing treats remains more popular.

EXPERT SAYS:

"You have to be consistent," says Margaret McAllister. "It's important not to set up a challenge. If you say, 'Don't do that again, or you can't go to the park', you have to stick to it. You cannot make idle threats. Parents have to be sure they will follow through every time."

TIME OUT OR 'NAUGHTY STEP'

So how should parents react when their children are badly behaved? We run the rule over five possible responses

REPORT SAYS:

Television programmes such as Supernanny have popularised certain techniques for addressing bad behaviour, particularly the concept of time out. This technique removes the child from conflict or disruption to allow them to calm down.

EXPERT SAYS:

"You have to keep repeating it until the child fits in with what you are asking," according to Margaret McAllister, a child psychologist and associate fellow of the British Psychological Society. "It can be quite effective, but you need to be careful to use it sparingly, otherwise it loses its value. It's only appropriate if the behaviour is really bad, like a tantrum or biting."

SMACKING

REPORT SAYS:

The majority of parents raise their voice or shout at some point, and a minority of parents thought smacking was useful. For both mothers and partners, there was an association between smacking and raising your voice. Those with no qualifications are more likely to see smacking or shouting as useful.

EXPERT SAYS:

Margaret McAllister says: "Smacking loses its effect by the time a child is about six or seven. Parents who get into the habit of smacking do it all the time. The child does not differentiate then between what is really naughty and what's not too serious. I think everyone should strive not to smack."

IGNORE IT

REPORT SAYS:

Parents were asked whether they used a range of techniques when children's behaviour was difficult. With young children, the most commonly used was to ignore the bad behaviour.

EXPERT SAYS:

Margaret McAllister says: "You just try the least invasive thing first. If it's something that is not serious, then ignoring the bad behaviour is fine. But gradually you can move to stronger tactics, such as removing the child from the scene for a short length of time. If the behaviour is repetitive you could deny the child a favourite activity."

REWARD SYSTEM OR STICKER CHART

REPORT SAYS:

Only a minority of parents of younger children remove treats and use a reward system such as stickers as a disciplining technique. Those who use reward systems are more likely also to use "time out".

EXPERT SAYS:

Margaret McAllister says: "Using a reward system or sticker chart is good. When a child builds up ten stickers, for example, they can get a treat. You can discuss with the child what they would like to do, so they're engaged. The aim is to help the longer-term behaviour. If you do this for three days then they get a treat, and you can extend the interval to a week with bigger treats at the end.