Children are used as 'emotional footballs' in divorces

Published on 15/11/2009 21:48

MORE than one in three children never see their father again after their parents split up – with children being used as "emotional footballs", research into family breakdown shows.

Law firm Mishcon de Reya questioned more than 4,000 people about family breakdown to mark the 20th anniversary of the Children Act – brought in to safeguard children after a parental separation.

Researchers found that nearly one in ten is so traumatised by the separation that they have considered suicide. A quarter of the children self-harm because of the trauma, parents believe, and 10 per cent turn to crime.

This is despite 70 per cent of parents saying their children's welfare is the most important factor in the breakdown.

Mishcon's head of family law, Sandra Davis, said: "This research shows that, despite their best intentions, parents are often using their children as emotional footballs. They can be seen as tangible objects.

"The feelings can be so raw in a separation. What happens is that the warfare between the parents is played out through the children.

"The process now encourages an adversarial approach, but it needs to be about communication between the parents, trying to find the right lines of communication and going forwards."

The study found that while 70 per cent of parents cited their child's welfare as the main priority, children said they felt used (19 per cent), isolated (38 per cent) and alone (37 per cent).

Many admitted they turned to drink and drugs, played truant or self-harmed.

For 38 per cent of children, the separation meant they never saw their father again.

Meanwhile, nearly half of parents said they drew out legal proceedings for their own ends, and 68 per cent admitted using their children as bargaining tools.