The X Factor: Resistance is useless

Published on Saturday 12 December 2009 19:15

ROUNDING a corner in London's Wembley a few weeks ago, I was greeted by the inimitable screeching of over-excited young women. I was faced with scenes reminiscent of The Beatles' heyday as teenage hysteria hung heavy in the air.

Only this gaggle of girls who were hanging around outside a nondescript television studio on a dark, wintry afternoon, weren't there to catch a glimpse of an established star. They were clutching tear-stained cheeks and waving glitter-strewn placards for people whom they would have passed in the street mere weeks ago without a second glance.

But then this is The X Factor, the annual dream factory where nobodies become bigger than the Prime Minister overnight. We refer to them by their first names: Alexandra, Leona, Olly, Stacey. They simply need no introduction. Tonight, the annual telly circus reaches its climax as the winner is announced, and I'll be tuning in along with nearly a third of the nation and more than half of the telly-viewing public.

The X Factor is in its sixth year and while it has always had a strong presence on our screens, this year its popularity and influence have gone stratospheric, thus dividing the music industry. It regularly pulls in more than 16 million viewers, and this year has attracted some of the world's biggest pop stars – from Mariah Carey and Whitney Houston to Lady Gaga and, ahem, Susan Boyle – to perform on its Sunday results show. Those who do perform are virtually guaranteed the number one spot in the charts the following week.

A part-forgotten song performed by one of the contestants will shoot up the download charts (when Joe – the bookies' favourite to win tonight – performed Dance With My Father Again by Luther Vandross in his initial audition, download sales of the track shot up) and there's more chance of Elvis himself popping in for a live performance than tonight's winner not bagging the number one spot come Christmas morning. This year, Prime Minister Gordon Brown has said he's a fan. Conservative leader David Cameron quickly followed up the statement with news that "you only need to watch a few minutes and suddenly, 40 minutes later, you're still nailed to your chair".

So who are we, the mere watching public, to demur? Should we all embrace The X Factor as the vivacious upstart that has warmed the dreary Saturday night schedules through this autumn and winter and a bit of fun that has taken the nation's mind off weightier matters. Or should we side with the critics who claim the show and its creator Simon Cowell are undermining genuine talent and projecting glorified karaoke singers to unprecedented heights of undeserved fame and fortune?

It's true that this year's show has attracted more criticism than in the past, largely because some in the industry fear Cowell, the head judge who pocketed $75 million in earnings last year, is now wielding an inordinate amount of power.

One of pop's elder statesman, Sting, recently publicly derided the format, describing it as "preposterous" and "a soap opera which has nothing to do with music (and] has put music back decades". One commentator described it as "lowest-common-denominator television, a tired and repetitive format… a freak show, a cynical marketing exercise masquerading as prime-time television in order to manufacture the mythical Christmas number one and generate income through their phone lines". He's not alone. So omnipresent has it been over the past few months that people for whom the show barely registered on their radar in the past have been forced to develop a loathing for it.

But love it or hate it, there's no denying that The X Factor is one of the most slickly-produced shows on television. I know because I managed to elbow my way through the screaming hordes to get to the studio where I watched the dress rehearsals, and witnessed an unbelievably smooth production that sees numerous talented singers churning out often-complicated performances in quick succession. And, in my eyes, it is also one of the most entertaining programmes of the past decade. But then a televised talent show is nothing new. If anything, it's a little old-fashioned. Before The X Factor was even a twinkle in Cowell's eye, Gladys Knight was discovered on a talent show in the Fifties.

More recently, a number of US stars got their first taste of fame on a US talent show called Star Search in the early Nineties. Pop superstars Christina Aguilera, Destiny's Child, Britney Spears, Justin Timberlake and even Alanis Morissette all performed on the show.

Artists have always had to lay themselves bare for the music bizz fat cats via an audition process. Current pop sensation Rihanna has described having to audition for rap mogul Jay-Z in his office. Nineties favourites The Spice Girls famously hijacked music manager Simon Fuller's office (Fuller also happens to be the creator of Pop Idol, The X Factor's predecessor) and auditioned there and then. No, the audition process is nothing new; it's just that now we're in on it too, and even better, we get to have our own say via an overpriced phone vote.

"The X Factor is never going to produce the next Paul Weller, but we do get some great pop stars – like Leona Lewis and JLS – out of it," says Peter Robinson, the editor of commentary website pop-justice.com. "It's often accused of being formulaic, but my answer to that is that of course it's formulaic – it's a prime-time television show.

Alternative music has never really dominated the single digits in the music charts. Those spots are generally reserved for manufactured bands; it's just that in the past we didn't witness the manufacturing process. There's always been a shiny factory creating shiny pop acts; Cowell has simply opened its doors to the public.

Cowell himself has said little of note on the subject, preferring simply to pocket the profits (ITV charge around 190,000, for example, for a 30-second ad slot during the show) and bask in the limelight. "I don't think shows like ours have saved the pop industry, but they have changed it," he says. "They made music interesting again after Top of the Pops, and they also sent tons of people back into record shops, where they can doubtless buy records by other artists."

While image undoubtedly plays a role in The X Factor, contestants who are older, overweight or less conventionally attractive have all had their moment in the spotlight. Talented performers will tend to make it through regardless of their appearance (see Susan Boyle of Britain's Got Talent fame). Similarly, attractive people with mediocre voices aren't allowed to pass through to the next round on the understanding that their out-of-tune warbling will be sexed up on auto-tune later. Indeed, established acts, like Britney Spears can be shown up for what they are on the show, where they must perform live in order to save face next to amateurs singing live to the nation. Britney was excused.

Let's not forget that The X Factor has brought to light some truly talented people including previous winners Alexandra Burke and Leona Lewis. Indeed, of the 12 finalists on this year's show, eight are genuinely talented performers, leaving three bland pop acts and one token novelty duo (the headline-grabbing "Jedward".)

Is the soppy background music, the constant tears and the faux-bickering between judges designed to manipulate certain emotions in us? Of course. But then so does the editing process in a documentary or a drama. It's entertainment, people, and it's entertainment at it's best: light, cheap and utterly compelling; the ultimate in water-cooler-fodder. You can turn off, you can tune out, but, ultimately, you'll find that resistance is futile. The X Factor circus is in town and it's here to stay!

Five reasons to love The X Factor

The hair

We love a bit of follicular drama and The X Factor has it in spades. Last week Cheryl was forced to remove her copious extensions after controversy over her L'Oreal shampoo advert, the rather naughty implication of which was that Cole's Barbie-esque hair could be achieved with a quick wash and go. In reality, Cole's hair is short, lank and lacklustre. Juicy viewing indeed.

Dermot O'Leary

Dermot's post-performance interviews with guest performers are deliciously cringe-inducing and his po-faced look as he announces the results "in no particular order" (yeah, right) is as camp as Christmas.

The voiceover

Making the movie trailer man sound like a pre-pubescent member of a male choir, The X Factor's voiceover is as instantly recognisable as his Geordie Big Brother equivalent.

Deadlock

When the judges can't reach a majority on a losing act, it reverts to which act got fewer public votes. The source of much controversy and as entertaining as it is contrived.

Simon Cowell

Love or loathe him, this show would be nothing without King Cowell. He may have us believe we're making the decisions, but this merciless Roman emperor is pulling the strings.