The diary

Published on Monday 17 March 2008 22:28

YOU'LL never eat lunch in this town again: the landlord of the Easter Road bar and eatery, Utopia, has placed a poster in his window, warning Alistair Darling to keep off the premises.

No sunshine on Leith for Darling

It shows a noose above Mr Darling's head, with "Barred" above his picture and "Not Welcome In This Pub" below. It is owner James Hughes' personal protest against new duties on beer, wine and spirits in this month's Budget.

"The poster is meant to be humorous, but to make it clear to punters that it is not us who are putting prices up, but Mr Darling," he said. "The noose signifies that it is the government who should be hanged and not the licensed trade."

Alba does not in any way condone the idea of a necktie party for the Chancellor. He advises the tactics employed by George Washington, who raised a militia force of 13,000 men to quash the Whiskey Rebellion – that's right, whiskey – of 1794 after riotous Pennsylvania publicans tarred and feathered a tax collector.

Let's face it, Mr Darling is unlikely to end up in Easter Road. Watching Fawlty Towers, not football, is his only known hobby, and he has moved his cat, Sybil, to 11 Downing Street.

When at home in Morningside, his nearest locals are upmarket Montpeliers, or The Canny Man's – though punters have been ejected from the latter for far less than slapping 59p on a bottle of whisky.

Chip shop selling 150,000 fish

A DAMIEN Hirst fish in formaldehyde, which the artist gifted to a friendly fish and chip shop owner in Leeds, is to be sold by auctioneers Bonhams. The blunt nosed tropical fish, known as a Trevelly, is typical of Hirst's early work, and he gave it to the shop where his brother worked in 1994. It is expected to sell for up to 150,000, without chips or sauce.

Trams go from bard to verse

TRANSPORT Initiatives Edinburgh, the city council company building the tram scheme, finally held its Burns Supper last Thursday – two months late – but denied that it was a sign of things to come, as the start of construction nears.

No word of any budget overruns on the haggis, but TIE chairman Willie Gallagher was clearly hoping to improve his outfit's media image. He placed journalists attending the dinner on a table named after the Burns poem, Holy Willie's Prayer.

Second time lucky for film

BACK in February, the Glasgow Film Festival was sad to miss out on director Mike Leigh's surprisingly cheerful film Happy Go Lucky. The dates didn't work, and the film's premiere went to Berlin.

As consolation prize, Leigh comes to the city for a special preview screening on 7 April, at the Glasgow Film Theatre. The film turns on the life of its buoyant central character – a primary school teacher named Poppy, played by Leigh's star discovery, Sally Hawkins.