The diary

Published on Monday 7 January 2008 19:31

Devine intervention

AT THE height of the Farepak hamper scandal, Jim Devine (who succeeded Robin Cook as MP for Livingston) was issuing press releases at a dizzying rate. Of late, he has been quieter, but the cost of royal sprogs now bothers the Labour stalwart.

Jim has called on Prince Andrew to pay for the police protection for his daughters, Princesses Beatrice and Eugenie, out of his own pocket. The MP stormed: "It is not the role of the British taxpayer to pay for the protection of two junior members of the Royal Family as they flirt and flaunt their way through the nightclubs of Europe.

"Weekend reports indicated Prince Andrew requested and was granted Special Branch protection (for the girls] at an estimated 500,000 per year." The usual "how many operations, how many nurses" comparative followed: "With that money, we could employ 20 nurses, (do] 125 hip replacement operations or perform 100 heart bypass operations."

Jim has written to Jacqui Smith, the Home Secretary, asking for a statement to Parliament explaining who made the decision, what it cost and what services are being provided. Big Jim has also written to Andrew suggesting he follows the lead of his sister, the Princess Royal, who has not requested such protection for her children – and let's face it, Zara is more likely to get unwanted attention than Princess Beatrice.

The thick end of the wedge

PAISLEY councillor Terry Kelly doesn't know when to stop digging. The Labour member came under fire after describing women as "thick" on his website. When asked whether he was being sexist, Councillor Kelly came up with an answer which, well, speaks for itself. He said: "Everyone who knows me knows I am not sexist. I've lived for years with my wife and daughters."

In the past Councillor Kelly has been Wendy Alexander's election agent. Who says the Labour leader's luck's changed?

Of mice and breakfast DJs

RADIO 1 has called in pest controllers after studios were overrun with mice. DJs have complained about the smell in the London offices and have found rodent "deposits".

Breakfast show host Chris Moyles, who returned from a Christmas holiday yesterday, moaned: "It stinks because we've had a problem with mice – I'm half expecting to find one in my headphones." But a BBC insider said: "It's no wonder mice hang around when Chris Moyles is around. There is always lots of food to be had when he's in."

Dancers set to take the plunge

ANYONE for the Spray Gordons or the Splashing White Sergeant? Scotland's first aqua-ceilidh is planned for 13 July in Stonehaven's outdoor pool, the only one of its kind in Scotland – it is heated to 84F (29C). The event is part of the town's folk festival, and could also feature Drip The Willow before ending with The Drying Scotsman.