The week: 11-17 November

Published on Saturday 17 November 2007 01:23

PRINCE William laid a wreath for the first time at the Cenotaph in London on Remembrance Sunday, joining his grandmother, the Queen, to pay tribute to those who have died in the service of their country.

Alex Salmond, the First Minister, visited the graves of Commonwealth soldiers in Colombo, Sri Lanka. In Italy, the police accidentally shot dead a football fan at a service station, sparking protests and riots - meanwhile, Roberto Donadoni, the Italian manager, named his squad for today's crucial Euro 2008 qualifying match against Scotland at Hampden. Jonathan Aitken, the former Tory minister who was jailed for perjury in 1999, was named as the chairman of a new prison reform group advising the Conservative Party.

The Pipes and Drums of the Royal Scots Dragoon Guards released their album on Monday: the band are hoping for a Christmas No 1 with their version of Mull Of Kintyre. David Meehan, 19, was sentenced to life in prison for the homophobic murder of James Kerr, 51, a council worker, in Perth. Martin Soutar admitted culpable homicide and was sentenced to nine years. A 15-year-old boy involved in the attack was later given a year's detention. Parts of London were covered in smoke after a fire near the site of the city's Olympic park.

Scientists confirmed on Tuesday that turkeys on a farm in Diss, on the border between Norfolk and Suffolk, had died from the H5N1 strain of bird flu. Seven members of the same family died after a house fire in Omagh - police launched a murder inquiry after petrol was detected throughout the house. The First Minister unveiled his economic strategy for sustainable growth and said he believed Scotland could be an independent nation by 2017. Nat Fraser's appeal against his conviction for murdering his wife, Arlene, got under way.

On Wednesday, police in Margate announced that remains found buried in a garden were those of Vicky Hamilton, the 15-year-old schoolgirl who went missing from Bathgate in 1991. John Swinney, the finance secretary, unveiled his first budget and a deal with local authorities to freeze council tax levels. Gordon Brown, the Prime Minister, announced a major overhaul of security at the UK's airports, railway stations and other key buildings to help combat the threat of terrorism. Captain John McDermid, a Scot who has attached to the 2nd Battalion the Yorkshire Regiment, was killed in an explosion in Afghanistan: his interpreter was injured.

The Court of Appeal ruled on Thursday that Barry George's 1999 conviction for the murder of TV presenter Jill Dando was unsafe and ordered a retrial. Peter Tobin appeared at Linlithgow Sheriff Court charged with the murder of Vicky Hamilton. MSPs voted to abolish tolls on the Forth and Tay road bridges. Sir Jimmy Savile had his glasses stolen by a woman in Leeds: he said it was "marvellous" as he hadn't been mugged by a fan since the 1960s.

Rescue work began in Bangladesh yesterday after a cyclone killed at least 250 people. Gordon Brown unveiled details of his "British workers for British jobs" scheme. The BBC's Children in Need appeal reached its climax.

THE WEEK IN BRIEF

Howard's end?

"NO ONE wants a prime minister who doesn't look good naked," according to Paul Merrill, editor of the Australian edition of Zoo. So that's where we've been going wrong all these years. His comments came after a poll published in his magazine revealed that 34 per cent of respondents wanted to see Kevin Rudd, 50, the Labour opposition leader, in the nip, while 16 per cent would prefer to see incumbent prime minister John Howard, 68, starkers. I'll leave you to form your own opinions regarding Gordon Brown versus David Cameron.

David who?

MAYBE some nude work would help voters to recognise David Cameron. Speaking on Parkinson, the Tory leader explained why Kate Moss thought he was a plumber. The pair met at a charity dinner and, struggling for small talk, Cameron said : "I remembered she has a house in my constituency and we'd had these terrible floods in Oxfordshire. I said sorry about the flooding in your house. I know your local pub as been flooded and it's going to re-open in six months.

"So I went on like this, twittering on, and she turned around and said: 'God, you sound like a really useful guy, can I have your phone number?'

"I went back to my table and said: 'The good news is I met Kate Moss and she said she wanted my telephone number. The bad news is, I think she thinks I'm something to do with the drainage'."

Forget Paris?

PARIS Hilton's publicist has denied that the socialite, far right, had lent her support to a campaign to help drunken elephants in India. Six wild elephants that broke into a farm in the state of Meghalaya were electrocuted after drinking supplies of home-made rice beer then uprooting an electricity pole. The hotel chain heiress was reported as saying: "There would have been more casualties if the villagers hadn't chased them away. Four elephants died in a similar way three years ago. It is just so sad."

Sangeeta Goswami, head of animal rights group People for Animals, said: "I am indeed happy Hilton has taken note of recent incidents of wild elephants in north-east India going berserk after drinking home-made rice beer and getting killed."

But Lori Berk, her publicist, denied Hilton had commented about the drunken elephants.

Brief encounter

DAVID "Golden Balls" Beckham is to model underwear for Armani. The footballer, above, shot the first photos for the three-year deal on Friday - the images are due to appear on billboards and in magazine in January, a chilly time of the year to be appearing in your briefs.

Larger lingerie

IN OTHER underwear news, Marks and Spencer is to start selling a bra with a J-sized cup on its website. Bosses at M&S haven't yet decided if the super-sized lingerie will be sold in its stores. The chain's largest cup size was previously a G but the patron saints of underwear said there is a demand for the bigger garments. Soozie Jenkinson, head of lingerie design, said the best-selling cup size at M&S is now 36C compared to 34B around five years ago. M&S is also about to launch a sports bra with a built-in heart monitor.

Tall story

GEOGRAPHY teachers threw their arms up in horror this week after it was revealed that one in three Britons think that Mount Everest is in Europe. The worrying statistic came from a survey carried out as part of National Geographic's awareness week. Only half of those questioned knew the Nile was the world's longest river (cue the flood of letters arguing that it depends on where you take the source of the Nile to be and about rates of flow in the Amazon... ).

That's highly illogical, captain

WINONA Ryder, below, has signed up to play Mr Spock's mother, Amanda, in the new Star Trek film, which will follow the crew of the original Starship Enterprise as they train at Star Fleet Academy. But Winona won't don a pair of pointy Vulcan ears for the film because, as every good Trekkie will tell you, Spock's mother was human and only his father, Sarek, was a Vulcan.

That's assuming the producers stick to the script. Zachary Quinto, played evil villain Sylar inHeroes, will play the young Spock while Leonard Nimoy, who portrayed Spock in the original series, will make a cameo appearance.

Always read the label

NORWAY'S largest chain of erotic shops was forced to change the labelling on products such as penis pasta, candy cuffs and chocolate body painting, to comply with food regulations. The Norwegian food safety authority conducted a surprise inspection at one of the chain's stores and found several products broke food labelling rules. Products containing food must be marked with a Norwegian label, listing all ingredients. Kjersti Antonsen, one of the shop's "sexual advisers", said: "We were a bit surprised to have the food safety authority on inspection. Food is not really our core product. We have panties, bras, handcuffs and suspender belts made out of candy."

He added the chain will comply with the rules.

Crocodile tears

SOLDIERS spent much of the week chasing hundreds of crocodiles that escaped from a breeding farm in central Vietnam. The army shot eight crocodiles dead, while local people killed another seven. The soldiers also captured at least 88 of the toothy-beasts but officials admitted that they didn't know exactly how many had escaped, after floodwaters broke the crocodile's cages.

Perhaps the Vietnamese soldiers should take a leaf out of Jimmy Howard's book. The 35-year-old Australian used his underpants to blindfold a five-foot crocodile, which he found on Casuarina Beach, Darwin.

"I just ripped my jocks off, soaked them in the water and wrapped them around its face," Mr Howard explained. "It was a bit cranky and that was the only thing I could use to cover its eyes. He was only a little fella, so he probably got a bit tired in the rough tides or something.

All I know is he had good little teeth on him and I think he would have taken a good chunk or two out of you if he had the chance."

Happy birthday

MORPH, every 80s child's Plasticine pal, will celebrate his 30th birthday tomorrow at the Watershed, in Bristol, as part of the city's short films festival. Morph first appeared with artist Tony Hart on Take Hart. Peter Lord, one of Morph's creators, denied rumours that Morph had melted during the fire at Aardman Animations' warehouse in 2005. He said the pencil box in which Morph used to live had been reduced to cinders though. The news came as Aardman teamed up with the Leonard Cheshire Disability charity for Creature Discomforts, their series of characters who all have disabilities. They are designed to raise awareness amongst young people. More at www.creaturediscomforts.org.