Tell me, how do you mend a broken house?

BEE Gee Barry Gibb and his Musselburgh-born wife Linda, who bought what used to be Johnny Cash's home in Nashville, Tennessee, are to build a life-size bronze monument to the late legendary country singer on the site of the house, burned to the ground in March.

Linda's closest friend Sue Lindsay, who lives in Linlithgow, flew back into Edinburgh after holidaying with the Gibbs at their Miami home and witnessing the carnage in Nashville.

"Linda flew us to Nashville, only a couple of hours flying north of Miami, and what my husband Andrew and I saw was heart-breaking.

"Sealant meant only for the outside of the largely wooden building had been used inside and caught fire. It took only an hour and 45 minutes to totally gut the building.

"Everything was destroyed. All the authentic Cash memorabilia was destroyed, including the most magnificent chandelier left by the Cash family. All the history went up in smoke, including the room where Elvis had lived and written songs.

"It stood in six acres and Barry and Linda plan to turn into a shrine with the statue and they'll build another house close by. They'll use it as a holiday home when they are obliged to leave their own place during Miami's hurricane season.

"I feel particularly sorry for Linda because, since they bought it 18 months ago, they'd spent well over a million dollars doing it up to their personal requirements, preparing to move in and respecting the Cash folklore all the while. She'd been on site regularly as a kind of clerk of works.

"They had only a new kitchen to put in and when she showed us round in November it looked like a couple of million dollars. Meanwhile, Barry is making an album of country songs and I wouldn't be surprised if there's a tribute track to Johnny."

It's only a game, JJ

Call him old irascible (to the tune of Call Me Irresponsible) and if you wonder why Jim Jefferies gets so girny, remember he was Hearts' left-back, skinned by Erich Schaedler, in the 7-0 game and he was their manager when they lost 6-2 to Hibs.

Jim, it's only a game, for God's sake! He finished the season doing a grand job managing Kilmarnock and he's been widely tipped to resume command at Tynie. Not necessarily a move that would be welcomed at Easter Road. Mind you, switched off from fitba', you couldn't meet a finer fella.

Medication needed

How long before medicine is developed to the extent that Alan Sugar, Margaret Beckett, Davina McCall, Tony Robinson, Noel Edmonds, voluptuous Vanessa Feltz, Bruce Forsyth, dedicated attention-seeker Gail Porter, Bill Oddie, rustic Richard Bilton and the ever-grieving Gloria Hunniford can be removed from our screens? With or without anaesthetic.

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