Sophia Windbag: Our no-nonsense agony aunt adresses those thorny celebrity dilemmas

Published on Monday 15 December 2008 19:14

Dear SW I'M having something of an issue with my tear ducts. I know that it's de rigueur for reality TV winners, losers, nobodies and the very occasional somebody to shed a few tears on screen (it's key to pulling in votes, you see) but am I taking it a step too far?

You see, when I was crowned this year's winner of the country's biggest televised singing competition on Saturday night, I was so overcome that I got a serious case of the waterworks.

Viewers watched more than a little uncomfortably as I collapsed and sobbed, before gasping my way through my final performance, my face smeared with tears and snotters.

Of course, crying is the only way to prove how much winning the competition means to you, so everyone was at it: friends, family, even the judges had a good sob.

As I embark on an 18-month career of covering Mariah Carey songs and appearing in low-budget music videos, I wonder, will my habit of breaking out the blub-factor prove a little off-putting?

Yours,

Blubbing-diva-in- the-making, London

Dear Blubbing-diva-in-the-making,

I TEND to take a pull-up-your-socks approach to crying, but if it must be done, might I recommend that you always have a clean lace handkerchief to hand (never carry anything so vicious as a Kleenex) and remember to dab, not wipe.

Having said that, it does all sound a little unnecessary in this case. You must surely recognise the difference between daintily dabbing at a tear of overwhelmed happiness and self-indulgent histrionics. You sound more inclined towards the latter. So suck it up, cut it out and if you do slip up, always, always check your eye make-up afterwards.

Problem solved, SW