Mum watched me marry, went to sleep and never woke again

Published on Monday 21 December 2009 09:51

A LOVING daughter brought forward her wedding day and held the ceremony in her dying mother's hospital ward so that she could witness it.

Cancer patient Liz Hay saw daughter Carol marry her fianc Ian Murdoch in Ward Two at the Western General Hospital in Edinburgh. Just hours later she fell asleep and never woke again.

The couple's wedding date was moved forward by a month to 24 November when Mrs Hay fell seriously ill so that she could be there for the happy occasion.

The 50-year-old from Muirhouse, who was the co-ordinator of the North West Carers' Centre, was told in July that after beating breast cancer seven years ago the disease had returned, this time in her liver.

Her family were told she could survive for years but by the start of November she was taken into hospital with just weeks to live.

Carol Murdoch, a 27-year-old trainee teacher, said: "Just at the start of November, she was taken in and told she didn't have a lot of time. We thought it was weeks, but a scan came back and suddenly we realised she had days.

"The ceremony was supposed to be at six o'clock but we brought it forward to three. She was that poorly.

"As soon as it was done, the nurses took her to another room. She went to sleep and didn't wake up again."

Mrs Hay died two days later.

The couple had originally planned to hold their Humanist wedding beside Loch Morlich last Saturday.

The hospital ceremony was attended by Mrs Hay's two sons, two daughters and three grandchildren – the youngest only two months old.

Her husband Charlie, 55, praised the hospital staff who helped with the wedding arrangements.

"The nurses did it all so nicely. It was great. Liz was up the whole time and she did a wonderful reading," he said.

Mrs Hay lived in Edinburgh nearly all her life. She was born in 1959 in Dreghorn Barracks and met her husband at the Edinburgh City Mission in 1979 while she was working at the Royal Edinburgh Hospital.

In 1994 Mr Hay, a woodwork teacher, had to retire early when he was diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis. Moving around was painful and he needed constant support.

His wife not only started caring for him but became involved with founding the North West Carers' Centre, a charity which runs projects to support and train carers in Edinburgh.

Despite having to devote so much time to her own caring duties she was the charity's chairwoman for more than ten years.

She also commanded Loanhead Air Cadet Squadron, was chairwoman of the Silverknowes Primary School board, a leader in the Boys' Brigade and a keen Aberdeen fan.

She had started building five doll's houses before her death and youngest son Andrew, 20, a trainee technology teacher at Edinburgh University, has pledged to finish the project.

"She didn't have a lot of time for hobbies," said Mrs Murdoch. "But her and dad used to love going for drives all around Scotland. She loved it here."

One of Mrs Hay's last wishes was to raise money for good causes and instead of leaving flowers at her funeral on 3 December, guests donated to the staff who helped organise the wedding so they could have a Christmas night out.

The 1,000 they have already raised will also go to the Maggie's cancer centre at the Western General Hospital.

Mrs Murdoch said: "Mum was always putting others first. That was mum. When she got told she had the cancer that wasn't going to stop her."