Enjoy your humble pie, Monsieur Chirac

Published on Wednesday 6 July 2005 01:07

BRAVO Monsieur Chirac! Et bienvenue en Ecosse.

We, at Scotland's national newspaper, would like to present you with a special award to commemorate your visit to the G8 summit at Gleneagles. The Lgion de Clich (with oakleaf cluster and platinum air miles). We so hope you appreciate the gesture, as dozens of craggy-faced crofters in kilts had to be taken off their haggis-catching duties to mould the precious metal for your medal.

But what nation could resist responding to your comments about the link between international diplomacy and cuisine? Here in the concrete-and-bracken landscape of stereotype Scotland, where many of the luxuries which ease your elegant French life were first invented (a list of the top 40 can be delivered to your suite for a mere €200), we were shocked to read the Liberation report that Lord Robertson had once "forced" you to eat "an unappetising Scottish delicacy".

It seemed even more puzzling that your personal distaste for haggis should prove so globally influential; but your assurance that "from there sprang all our [France's] difficulties with NATO" has been noted.

Albeit with a giggle. We are most of us blessed with elderly relatives who believe the world's troubles stem from indigestion. However, your comments to Gerhard Schrder and Vladimir Putin - that "the only thing the British have contributed to European agriculture is mad cow", that Britain's cuisine is "the second worst after Finland", and that "one cannot trust people who have such bad cuisine" - have caused a bit of a stooshie.

You might call it a fracas, but our linguistic tendencies this week tend rather more towards Trafalgar than Auld Alliance.

The thing is, you are lamentably out of date. And - much worse - you seem proud of the failing.

If (as one suspects) you will only respect a French opinion, may I quote the world's only chef to hold six Michelin stars at once (three for his Paris restaurant and another three in Monaco)?

Alain Ducasse said earlier this year: "The idea that all Anglo-Saxon food is bad is as much a myth as the idea that all French cuisine is always good. Both are outdated clichs. There are some fantastic restaurants in Britain and the variety is enormous. What has happened with the approach to food in the UK has been a revolution in the last 25 years."

Yet stereotypes die hard. The exceptional home-cooking of France has always been predicated on daily, local shopping or home-grown produce. But twin-income urban lives do not permit that anymore, even in France. A nation where bread was bought twice-daily to ensure freshness is sliding towards the ease of the once-a-week supermarket visit.

In the lofty realms of haute cuisine, it would be foolish to argue that a French training is not still the most comprehensive and the best. The techniques are dazzling in their complexity. But is this really how people like to eat today - eight courses, seven different sauces?

The 18th century French writer Brillat-Savarin noted in his Meditations on Taste that the best dining experience was "good food, cooked simply and eaten in surroundings in which everyone can feel at home".

And this is the true reason that London can now boast more world-class restaurants than Paris. "French food might be fresh, but the restaurants are stale," ran a headline last month.

Which makes President Chirac the ideal spokesman, representing both an ancien regime and an outmoded hauteur. And that's before we interview some very angry geese.

Chefs' views

Alain L'Hermitte

CHIRAC is talking crap. I've lived and worked here for 44 years and I've seen first-hand the rise of British cuisine. The French have always been at the top, but for someone to say British cooking is inedible is just appalling. My signature dish is steak tartare and I always use British beef because it's the best. Chirac can say what he wants about BSE but in France they also had the problem - they just chose not to tell anyone about it.

• Alain L'Hermitte owns Mon Plaisir, London's oldest French eaterie

Nick Nairn

CHIRAC'S talking nonsense. Twenty years ago, he might have had a point, but British food has undergone a revolution. Sure, the French have an established global presence in cooking and many chefs do train there, but Scotland is as good as anything they can offer. He said he wouldn't trust us because we can't cook, but would you trust someone who obviously has no clue? I'd like to ask him again once he's had Andrew Fairlie's cooking.

• Nick Nairn is the proprietor of Nairn's Cook School

Jean-Michel Gauffre

I HAVE worked here for 30 years and I would not agree at all. Perhaps Chirac is unaware of the quality of the food produced in the UK. There has been a huge improvement in the standard of cooking in the last 20 years, and it's not inferior in any way to France. We should be proud of our larder - it's one of the best in Europe. I enjoy the food here much more than I do in France.

• Jean-Michel Gauffre is head chef and proprietor, La Garrigue. Edinburgh

Philip Garrod

AS A native Australian, I have found the quality of produce available in Scotland to be very high. Standards of cooking have improved over recent years, particularly as Scotland boasts some excellent chefs, such as Andrew Fairlie, who I am sure will impress Mr Chirac this week during the G8 summit.

• Philip Garrod is the executive chef at the Edinburgh Sheraton

Martin Wishart

I FEEL passionate about the quality and variety of indigenous produce available. We have some of the greatest gourmet talent utilising the freshest, highest-quality food from our shores and fields. Demand is worldwide. Hopefully, sampling some of Andrew Fairlie's dishes will enable Chirac to retract his comment graciously.

• Martin Wishart is the proprietor at Martin Wishart, Leith

Steven Adair

I THINK that Scotland produces some of the finest ingredients in the world. Some of the top restaurants in Paris import Scottish produce, such as langoustines, to serve in their establishments. I'm very proud of the menu that we offer, which includes a lot of Scottish produce.

• Steven Adair is head chef at The Gallery Restaurant & Bar, Edinburgh

Mark Porter

WE get an abundance of foreign students, including French, and they are taught about Scotland's fantastic produce. I believe that Aberdeen Angus beef is better than anything France has to offer, while the Scottish game season is unrivalled.

• Mark Porter is head chef/tutor at the Edinburgh School of Food & Wine