A SECURITY guard accused of murdering a conference delegate at the SECC told a jury: “I killed her.”
But 35-year-old Clive Carter from Motherwell, said that he had no memory of battering Khanokporn Satjawat to death with a fire extinguisher in the ladies toilets in the Clyde Auditorium on November 12, last year.
However, he added that after talking with psychiatrists and psychologists about the incident he remembered hearing words in his head saying “Die, just die.”
Miss Satjawat was bludgeoned on the left side of her head with a fire extinguisher as she lay prone in a cubicle in the ladies toilets. The force of the assault shattered all the bones on the left side of her face and smashed her skull.
The 42-year-old Thai national was in Glasgow to attend an HIV conference at the SECC.
Carter says that all he can remember of the incident is having a verbal argument with Miss Satjawat about her security pass and then sitting in the staff rest room eating his sandwiches.
He said: “I remember having a heated argument with her and then sitting downstairs having my sandwiches.”
In evidence at the High Court in Glasgow, the father-of-three told defence QC Ian Duguid that he had a row with Miss Satjawat when she asked why she should show her security pass.
Carter said he had gone up to the second floor after hearing a noise. He was heading back down towards the fire stairs when he saw Miss Satjawat.
He said she kept asking why she had to show him her security pass and this made him “angry, frustrated and annoyed.”
Mr Duguid said: “Your emotions at the time were that she should just die is that correct,” and Carter replied: “Yes.”
He added: “When I was asked about the incident by psychiatrists and psychologists I remembered the argument and I remember saying ‘Die, just die’ in my head. I didn’t say it.”
Carter told the jury: “I just basically asked do you have your badge. She said: ‘Of course.’
“She started to get a bit angry about it. I wasn’t sure what the problem was. She asked me why. I had a problem understanding what she was saying. Basically she was saying: ‘Why do I have to show my badge.’
“She said: ‘Why is everyone having a go at me,’ and I said: ‘I just have to see your badge.’
“We had a heated debate, an argument. Basically she was asking these questions. I just wanted to see her pass. She was having a go at me. I couldn’t understand what she was saying. A lot of it was in broken English.”
Carter said that after arguing for a couple of minutes Miss Satjawat pulled out her pass and waved it in his face.
After killing her he went on his lunch break and was in the rest room when a colleague said there had been an incident in the ladies toilets.
Carter said when he went up he saw Miss Satjawat lying dead in a cubicle.
He was asked how he felt and said: “Shocked, dizzy. I was mortified by the sight of the lady in question.”
He denied that he had tried to cover up what he had done by hiding his bloodstained blazer and trying to wash blood off the fire extinguisher.
Carter also denied having a fascination with fire extinguishers.
He was asked by Mr Duguid: “You accept you are responsible for the death of this lady, how do you feel about that?”
Carter replied: “I hate myself. I still struggle to understand and explain what happened. It doesn’t make sense to me. In my own head there’s no possible reason for what I did.”
Carter was then asked if he could think of a reason for what he did and said: “No not really. I know we had an argument, but that was no reason to do what I did.”
The court heard that Carter had been prescribed anti-depressants by his GP, but wasn’t taking them.
He was also attending anger management counselling.
Carter admits killing Miss Satjawat, but denies murdering her claiming diminished responsibility.
He claims that he was tired because of the shifts he was working for G4S, and said that he had only had two and a half hours sleep before heading for his shift on Monday, November 12 2012.
In the two days previously he had worked 24 hours.
The trial before Lord Matthews continues.