Random top ten: Disappointing Hollywood sequels

Published on Thursday 21 May 2009 17:43

1 Ghostbusters 2

As Dan Aykroyd revealed earlier this week, Ghostbusters 3 could finally begin filming later this year – a mere 20 years after the last film. Why did it take so long? The answer lies in this shoddy 1989 sequel, a less funny, less exciting, less well written repeat of the first one which even its own cast thought was a bit poor.

2 Predator 2

The first one had a buffed- up, wisecracking Arnold Schwarzenegger trapped in the jungle, hunted by an invisible, ruthless alien. The second had a grumpy-looking cop, Danny Glover, plodding around Los Angeles and swearing a lot.

3 Speed 2

How do you top a blockbuster popcorn thriller as exhilarating as Speed, which put a bomb on a bus whizzing relentlessly around Los Angeles? Of course! Put a bomb on a big, cumbersome cruise liner, chugging across an open sea towards a parked oil tanker. Oh, and put Sandra Bullock aboard.

4 Book of Shadows: Blair Witch 2

The Blair Witch Project, with its shaky hand-held camera work and disturbing "is this actually a snuff movie?" conceit, was the most talked-about horror movie of 1999. In this painfully contrived sequel, a man who has seen the original film cashes in with a "Blair Witch Hunt" tour. Some students go on the tour, and then wake up hours later with no memory of what happened. Which is also how most people felt about the film.

5 Wayne's World 2

The first film, again. Only less funny.

6 The Matrix Reloaded

The first one had breathtaking special effects, a mindbending plot, and even threw lots of clever philosophical ideas into the mix. The second one (inset) had the same special effects – now slightly less breathtaking, having been used in loads of films since, even Charlie's Angels – plus a pointless car chase (where are they trying to get to, exactly?), hundreds of crusties dancing in a cave and a mostly incomprehensible plot. Not quite as bad as The Matrix Revolutions, but almost.

7 Rambo: First Blood Part 2

Like First Blood, but 1. idiotic and 2. reactionary.

8 Cinderella 2: Dreams Come True

In perhaps the most pointless sequel ever, Disney continues Cinderella's story after she moves in with her handsome prince. With absolutely nothing at stake, she mostly potters about fixing other people's problems, while wondering if she's really happy with this whole living in a palace thing. Yes, she concludes, she is.

9 Highlander 2: The Quickening

The first one was enjoyably preposterous. The second one was mostly just preposterous. The plot has something to do with time travel, aliens, and a giant shield protecting the earth from a hole in the ozone layer. Christopher Lambert's accent is, if anything, even more ridiculous.

10 The Dark Knight

Only joking.