ACCORDING to the Conservative manifesto, Dave Cameron's plans for a big society appear not to include Scotland's geographical extremities. A map in the manifesto is accompanied by the caption "We're all in this together".
But it didn't take long for the SNP candidate for Na h-Eileanan an Iar, Angus MacNeil, to notice the map excludes the Western and Northern Isles. D'oh.
Revealed: cruelty to a Northerner
ADELE Nichols, a former Tory staffer, has revealed the art of the perfectly judged insult is a practiced skill.
"Members would find it appropriate to greet me by mocking my (very mild] Mancunian accent. On one occasion, someone I had never met who recognised me asked me a question.
When I answered they responded with: 'Oh, you're Northern' – and walked off."
Band not Keane to have song used
BAD news for Tories hoping to replicate the Cool Britannia popfest love-in that marked Tony Blair's 1997 victory.
The drummer of the popular beat combo Keane has said he was "horrified" that their song Everybody's Changing was played at the Conservative manifesto launch.
Richard Hughes revealed the Conservatives had not asked the band's permission, but a Tory spokesman said: "It's a great song and David's a great fan."
No crunch time for SNP leader
"POLITI-PACKS" of Real-branded crisps are being distributed throughout the country. The promotion has seen Gordon Brown, David Cameron and Nick Clegg packets of crisps being handed out. No sign of any Alex Salmond ones, however.
Perhaps surprising, given the SNP leader's love of food.
"Yet another example of the cosy Westminster consensus," a slightly paranoid SNP spin doctor said.
A successful manifesto launch made him look energetic and like the true idealist of British politics. He even got away with comparisons to JFK.
It was always going to be hard for him to make an impression on Tory manifesto day, but he had the most effective – and quotable – attacks on David Cameron.
Secured an election broadcast before the live leader's debate on ITV tomorrow night, so will have his chance to speak to the nation after all.
On a day which belonged to the Tories, he still managed to mess up by commenting too late on the legal aid awarded to the "Expenses Three".