Pass the drugs or I'll pass on giving birth, thanks very much

Published on Thursday 3 April 2008 10:34

WHEN one of my closest friends recently became a mother – making me a godmother – for the first time, she took it upon herself to scare the life out of me with a blow-by-blow account of her labour.

Hearing about her 29-hour ordeal, which was followed by an emergency Caesarian under a general anaesthetic, would have been quite enough. But the phone calls from the Royal Infirmary, where she admitted – in floods of tears – that it was the worst, indescribable pain ever had me Googling the price of elective caesarians.

I'd only just got over the trauma of my other close friend's tale from the labour ward. She passed out repeatedly with the pain. And, despite begging for an epidural – or an entire ward's supply of drugs – was put off and put off . . . until baby was coming and it was too late to numb what was "the most hideous and horrendous pain I have ever experienced". Friend number two even took it upon herself to return to her anti-natal class and inform the rest of the mothers-to-be exactly what to expect. For almost a year, she experienced flashbacks, and still claims she couldn't endure the pain again.

And then there is my yummy mummy friend, who, as a mother-of-two, is a pro in comparison. During her first natural birth, she decided half way through the pain was too much and changed her mind, attempting to get off the delivery table and go home.

Second time around, she was sure it wouldn't be so sore. Wrong. Baby number two might have come faster, but it was still a real life horror movie of blood-curling screams, and a vow (still maintained) never to have another child.

Suffice to say, I'm not sold on the whole natural birth thing, and for those who can do it I give them the utmost respect. It's not that I'm too posh to push. Far from it, actually. It's just that I'm too petrified to push . . . without an epidural, that is. But I'm even more terrified of the high chance that, should I ever get pregnant, I too will be one of the many who are delayed (or fobbed off) until it's too late to receive pain relief.

They say that pain is gain, but, like many women I know, I want to enjoy my pregnancy and labour – not suffer from panic attacks about what lies ahead. And it seems the director of obstetric anaesthesia at New York University Medical Center – Dr Gilbert Grant – agrees.

He claims that the biblical edict to women to "bring forth children in sorrow" is no longer applicable, and believes that women should get an epidural – even before pain starts. In fact, according to him, the opposition to anaesthesia during childbirth is the result of misogyny.

He says: "There is no other situation in medicine in which pain relief is routinely withheld. No man would undergo an appendectomy, which lasts about 24 minutes, without pain relief, yet the pain of labour, which can last more than 24 hours, is viewed as something women must endure."

Harsh words. But, at some level, he does have a point . . . although the whole misogyny claim is a bit extreme. Women throughout the ages may well have given birth naturally, but if there is anything that can help with the pain then I'm all for it.

Modern low-dose "walking epidurals" allow women to remain active while retaining the strength to push. Furthermore, studies reveal babies born to women who have had epidurals come out in better shape than those from "natural" childbirth.

So if there's anything that can reduce "the most hideous and horrendous pain", then I'll be at the front of the queue.