John Gibson: Yes, we will take this to our graves

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Still glamorous at a ripe old age. Honor Blackman is touring with her one-woman show.

But she’s not coming to Edinburgh and it’s just as well because we’ve an old score that we are destined never to settle.

The bones from a verbal spat we had here in the Capital now won’t be picked, ever. When she was a Bond girl Honor had to beat off suitors with clubs.

However, I never did touch her, your honour, I swear.

Regular topic

I’m accosted at a bus stop, as you are. A fellow citizen seeking advice on bladder training. An improbable conversation-opener but he recalled from the column that I’d managed to get it down to twice a night. I’d brought him hope.

Further info? Try the Citizens Advice Bureau I suggested before leaking anything else.

She’s ruthless

Don’t get around much any more and you might indirectly blame Duke Ellington.

You see, I never knew that Ruth Davidson, leader of the Scottish Conservatives, is a kick boxer and a former Territorial Army soldier. But I’m not surprised.

Might we see her down at Portobello before long? Names of suggested opponents on a postcard, please.

Afterwords . . .

. . . A weatherwise Edinburgh architect is telling me it’s been so cold in Auld Reekie that even lawyers have got their hands in their own pockets.