John Gibson: A big bum won’t get you this job

Major Brian Leishman. Picture: Cate Gillon

Major Brian Leishman. Picture: Cate Gillon

0
Have your say

Ladies, if you’ve got a big fat bum, forget it.

Dinshah Vimadalal, 69, made millions in the travel business. Since his wife died three years ago in a car accident he’s been looking far a new partner to live it up with him in his palatial Mexican pad.

Age 40 max, slim and not a vegetarian. He’ll entertain candidates even if they are unattractive facially. ‘‘I like a slim figure and the girls who have been very nice had big fat bottoms. I don’t like that,’’ says the picky Dinshah.

I’ve passed his name to your local Edinburgh JobCentre. Bound to be some lady who will meet his requirements and stipulations.

Attention!

Enough to bring a tear to an old soldier’s eye. The Ist Battalion the Cameronians (Scottish Rifles) were formed in 1689 and disbanded in 1968 in the defence cuts.

A former Cameronian, the redoubtable Edinburgh-based Major Brian Leishman served 12 of his 21 years in the army with the battalion. He’s been talking about a commemoration on May 24, nearest to the memorable May 21, and he has details at www.cameronians.org. Porty in a storm

The new £500 benefits cap could create ‘‘ghettos’’ of benefits communities in depressed areas in coastal resorts, warns a Tory minister. They’d migrate from the inner cities. Portobello a ghetto? Never. Surely not.

Afterwords . . .

. . . You need a grasp of the Glasgow patois for this. What did John Wayne call his kids? The weans.

Back to the top of the page