Family: Janet Christie’s Mum’s the Word

PIC PHIL WILKINSON.TSPL / JOHNSTON PRESS

JANET CHRISTIE ,  MAGAZINE WRITER
PIC PHIL WILKINSON.TSPL / JOHNSTON PRESS JANET CHRISTIE , MAGAZINE WRITER
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Stuff parity - what about fighting for more?

Youngest Child and the pocket money pay gap, how did that pan out after I threatened to give her less than the boys used to get just to see what she’d say? She got more. I doubled it.

And not because she put up a huge fight. She didn’t. In fact not nearly enough of a fight for my liking.

“I was a bit shocked when you said I was getting less,” she says, when pushed for a reaction.

“Good. How unfair would that be, just because of your gender?”

“Yes, but I didn’t mind really. I just thought ‘she’s in a bad mood about women getting paid less than men, it’s BBC’s fault’.”

“Well you should mind!” I foam. “I was trying to get a reaction so you’d fight back.”

“Oh. Ok,” she says mildly.

“Anyway, this week’s pocket money is doubled,” I say.

“Oh! Good!”

“Call it positive discrimination.”

“Positive… whatever…Yay!”

“And it’s because you’re female. You’re getting more because you have more expenses than the boys did. They spent all their pocket money on skateboard trucks and Red Bull. You’ve got to buy…

“Yes, yes, we know, Mother,” she cuts in quickly in case I go “too far”.

“And you buy make up – too much in my opinion – but still, and it’s way pricey…”

“Yes Mother.. I’ve cut way back on what I wear actually…”

“Good. Anyway, what I’m saying is stuff parity – that’s getting the same – what about fighting for more? How about you should get more because you earn more by doing loads to help me? You’ve come over all helpful recently…

“Hmph. Didn’t think you’d noticed.”

“Course I have. Tidying the kitchen, hoovering, and what about last week when I came home and you and Middle had cooked the tea…”

“That was Middle’s idea…”

“True. But you did it too. I love it when I don’t have to cook. It’s my favourite thing ever…”

“Sad.”

“So how about we leave the dishes and tidying the kitchen and all this mess for them to do, let them clear it up and sort it all out?

“Oh, all right then,” she says and makes to leave.

“Where are going?”

“I thought I’d help Middle tidy his room.”

Aggggghhh.