Drumlanrig: Great political happenings in 2015?

UKIP's Scottish MEP David Coburn. Picture: Phil Wilkinson

UKIP's Scottish MEP David Coburn. Picture: Phil Wilkinson

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What better way for Alex Salmond and Nigel Farage to sort out their political differences than a good old game of golf? Having spent much of his youth on the links as a St Andrews University student, Salmond is an avid golfer. His enthusiasm for the game has been reflected in the vast amount of public money spent on his trips to the Ryder Cup.

Salmond is reputed to be a handy player, although he admits his bunker play is a bit rusty. Farage’s golfing credentials are less well-known but pretty impressive.

As an Old Boy of Dulwich College, Farage attended last year’s Halford

Hewitt – a posh tournament that pits the best golfers to have attended the UK’s public schools against one and other.

Assuming Salmond and Farage are not blackballed by the voters of Gordon and South Thanet, the pair could organise the match through the Parliamentary Golf Society.

David Cameron to appear before a Scottish Parliament Committee.

What are the chances of the prime minister coming north of the Border to be quizzed by a Holyrood committee? Chances should be high if the prime minister’s rhetoric is to be believed. The reality, however, is somewhat different. It was in the first days of his premiership that David Cameron said he would appear every year at Holyrood to answer questions as part of the Conservative Government’s respect agenda for Scotland.

Needless to say, there has yet to be a prime ministerial visit – a fact that was picked up by one clever-clogs schoolboy on a trip to Holyrood. Drumlanrig hears that a party of schoolchildren were given the guided Holyrood tour at the height of the referendum. The tour guide took them to one of the parliament’s committee rooms and was demonstrating the electronic speaking system and explaining the seating arrangements. “Is that the desk that David Cameron hides underneath?” the promising youngster asked.

More eccentric pearls of wisdom from Ukip’s Scottish representative.

David Coburn, Scotland’s Ukip MEP, has proved a colourful addition to the political scene. Given that he is standing in Gordon against Alex Salmond, his profile can only increase over the next few months.

Given his track-record so far, it stands to reason that we can expect quite a few gems from this colossus.

Coburn (above) has described himself as “spectacularly homosexual” and a “great big screaming poof”. Therefore there was some surprise when he condemned gay marriage reforms as “false bollocks” that only matter to “some queen who wants to dress up in a bridal frock and dance up the aisle to the Village People”. Expect more of the same.

Boris Johnson takes over as Tory leader after David Cameron loses the general election.

With Boris a shoo-in for Uxbridge and South Ruislip in May, he would be a conspicuous and mischievous presence on the backbenches should Cameron fail. It would be no consolation to Cameron that Johnson has tried to play down his ambitions. “My chances of being PM are about as good as the chances of finding Elvis on Mars or being reincarnated as an olive,” Boris once said. This may have an element of truth, but Boris almost certainly doesn’t believe it.

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