Drumlanrig: Bye Bye credibility with the kids

Bay City Rollers. Picture: BBC

Bay City Rollers. Picture: BBC

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SHANG A Lang, Bye, Bye Baby. David Cameron has come out of the closet as a Bay City Rollers fan. In his speech at the Tory Conference last week, the Prime Minister was boasting that the percentage of people in work was at its highest level since records began in 1971.

“I can hardly remember 1971 (he would have been four or five-years-old), though I did once buy a Bay City Rollers album,” the 48-year-old confessed, before adding: “I never bought the trousers.”

Cameron’s confession led to much speculation about which Bay City Rollers album he had bought in 1971. The speculation was justified given that the tartan rockers did not have their big UK breakthrough until around 1974.

Bar-room banter leads to battle of bulge

Shorn of his First Ministerial duties, Alex Salmond is spending a lot more time in the Holyrood bar. The other night, he was gossiping with a group of journalists, who also happened to be there. One of his former government spin doctors wandered past the bar window and noticed the convivial gathering. Quick as a flash he joined the group, presumably to make sure that his old master was not being too indiscreet in front of the fourth estate.

“It’s all right, I’m no longer your responsibility,” Salmond told his former adviser. Old habits die hard, however, and the spinner doggedly remained with the group to keep an eye on things. Salmond was in typically rumbustious form, pointing out that Braden Davy, his youthful Labour opponent in Gordon, used to work in a McDonalds. “So did I,” chirped one comfortably built journalist. “How recently?” replied Salmond, looking down at the hack’s paunch. Given that Salmond is not renowned for his own waif-like appearance, his barbed remark was not hugely appreciated.

Ringing the changes is music to ears

THE Tory MSP Gavin Brown told a story at his party’s conference – which may or may not be true – about a constituent who turned up at Bute House looking for Alex Salmond.

According to Brown, his constituent rang the bell at the First Minister’s official residence and asked for Mr Salmond. A flunkey answered it and said: “I’m sorry Mr Salmond is no longer First Minister. Nicola Sturgeon lives here now” before shutting the front door. Undeterred, the constituent rang the bell again, “I’ve already told you, Alex Salmond is no longer First Minister,” said the somewhat exasperated flunkey.

“I know,” replied the constituent, “But I just like hearing you say that.”

Murphy on the ball in seeing off heckler

JIM Murphy has revealed that his fanatical love of football was instilled in him by his mother – a somewhat surprising revelation given that his dad was the coach of his childhood football team. According to Murphy, his mother was the only mum who used to come and watch his games. The pair still obsess about the fortunes of Celtic. In fact, Murphy phoned his mother last week to chat about Celtic’s six-goal thriller with Inter Milan. They were indulging in some detailed post-match analysis of the three-all draw when they were interrupted by an unseemly disturbance. “What’s that noise in the background, son?” asked Mrs Murphy.

It was Murphy being accosted by the serial heckler Sean Clerkin. Four years ago it was Clerkin who chased Iain Gray into a sandwich bar during the Scottish election – an incident that did little for the then Labour leader’s credibility. Murphy dealt with his incident a little more calmly. He continued to chat on the phone before turning to Clerkin saying: “I’m on the phone to my mum.”

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