Moira Jeffrey: 'Tis the season for us to party like it's 1959

Published on Monday 6 December 2010 15:54

So WHAT message does the First Minister's Christmas card tell others about our proud nation? Well, it's Christmas, and far from going to church, doing good works, or thinking nice thoughts about world peace, we Scots prefer to party like it's 1959.

We're vigorous, heterosexual and have never heard of women's liberation.

Don't be deceived by the apparent lack of festive cheer, we've got some sweetheart stout and sherry in the sideboard.

After a bit of bother in the past for exploiting our national flag at this time of year, we've resorted to wrapping our Christmas presents in the Saltire and a range of the footballing colours of our rainbow nation.

None of this, by the way, seems to make us truly happy.

Nor does it make us anatomically correct.

The lady's red fingernails suggest her name night be Edwina Scissorhands and the gentleman's ears seem to have been purchased from the local joke shop.

Above all, there is something so odd going on in the knee department that this is the kind of twist that needs attention at the local Accident and Emergency Department.

You have to hand it to the First Minister. He's unafraid of a bit of cultural mischief by launching the card at the National Galleries of Scotland and, if the success of his annual Christmas card is to be rated on the funds it will raise, then his unholy alliance with Jack Vettriano is bound to rake in cash for some very important charities.

• Moira Jeffrey is an art critic for the Scotland on Sunday.