Madonna and Guy Ritchie - The power of goodbye

Published on Saturday 18 October 2008 19:41

IT WAS Madonna's worst nightmare. Not the divorce itself – that had been a given for at least six months – but the way it was finally announced to the world.

The iconic pop star, whose control freak tendencies have been blamed for the collapse of her relationship with Guy Ritchie, was determined the news should not break until her Sticky and Sweet tour finished in December. But last week, her film director husband – or "sources close" to him – spoiled her schedule, briefing the press without her knowledge. The official statement, issued hours later, was a mere formality.

Ritchie, who took a break from filming his latest movie Sherlock Homes to deal with the fallout, has sometimes been portrayed as an affable oaf, trailing in the wake of his wife's fame throughout their seven-and-three-quarter-year marriage. But when it came to its demise, he acted decisively and unilaterally. Their union had become a "three-ringed circus", he said, a charade that had to end.

It's a verdict few who have followed the couple's fortunes since they formalised their partnership in a five-day extravaganza in the Highlands in 2000, could disagree with. The over-the-top event – during which their son Rocco was christened at Dornoch Cathedral and they exchanged vows at 19th century Skibo Castle – attracted stars such as Stella McCartney, Rupert Everett and Vinnie Jones, and caused such a stir that a part-time security guard hid in the cathedral organ pipes for more than 24 hours in a failed attempt to get a photograph of Rocco in his Baptismal robe.

The lavish do, which, some said, brought the Highlands more attention than early sightings of the Loch Ness monster, set the tone for the rest of their marriage. From their practice of Kabbalah to the adoption of their son David Banda in 2006, the couple seemed always to be at the centre of what Ritchie recently described as "hoopla".

Hoopla, however, pays. The fact that the controversies besetting their marriage seemed to coincide with the launch of one of their various ventures, led many to believe their union had lately become a sham; a means of propping up their flagging careers, rather than a bona fide love affair. As Madonna's daughter Lourdes, the couple's son Rocco, and David face up to an uncertain future, the question is: wasn't it always thus? When Madonna and Ritchie's eyes first met across Sting and Trudie Styler's dinner table in 1998, did they behold the perfect soulmate or the perfect publicity vehicle? When they started stepping out together, was it a case of opposites attracting? Or were they united by a shared talent for reinvention and a desire to defy the public's expectations?

There is evidence to support both views. On the one hand, both had a track record of embracing new personas. Madonna had run the gamut from teenage runaway to earth mother, through sacrilegious vamp and numerous other guises, while Ritchie had thrown off the shackles of his quasi- aristocratic upbringing (his stepfather was a baronet) and taken on the character of a Mockney geezer.

There were hints, even in the early stages, that the couple saw their getting together as a bit of a wheeze. Ritchie is said to have broken up with his then girlfriend Tania Strecker, with the words: "You know I really love you, but she's Madonna." All that subverting of the singer's sex goddess image seemed fake too; overnight, the Yankee wild child was transformed into a model of conventionality. Ritchie's constant references to "the missus", and the ridiculous photographs of them dressed like landed gentry bore all the hallmarks of a prank.

Or is that version of events too cynical? Is it not possible Madonna was truly swept off her feet by the quirky director, who was then riding high on the back of his movie Lock, Stock And Two Smoking Barrels? She did, after all, cast caution to the wind and marry him without a prenuptial agreement.

Michelle Davies, assistant editor of Grazia Magazine, believes the pair were truly in love. "I think Madonna is an Alpha female, who felt that, in Ritchie, she had at last met someone who could stand up to her. She said Ritchie was the love of her life and they seemed committed to making that work and to raise their children as normally as possible."

Holy Moly, founder of the eponymous gossip website which broke the story of the couple's divorce in the summer (when it was fervently denied), takes a more jaundiced view: "Madonna does anything that is contrary to what people expect of her. She insulted the Pope, she fiddled with herself on stage, and the only thing left she could do to wind up the Americans was to set herself up as British. As for Ritchie, he probably saw it as a way to keep his profile high. After all, would he have got Sherlock Holmes, if he hadn't been married to Madonna? I don't think so."

Madonna and Ritchie may have been living separate lives for some time, but the announcement of their divorce nevertheless sent celebrity-watchers into a paroxysm of excitement. As the post-mortem examination began, "friends" in both camps queued up to apportion blame: Guy got fed up of Kabbalah and his wife's need to be the centre of attention, claimed some. Madonna felt abandoned by a man whose public school upbringing left him unable to communicate his emotions, insisted others.

Yet it is difficult to believe Madonna's own high-maintenance personality did not play a major part in the fraying of the relationship. Although, initially, Ritchie did his best to humour her, traipsing along to Kabbalah meetings, it seems he began to find his wife's macrobiotic diet, self-absorption and constant stage-managing of their lives impossible to deal with.

Holy Moly is blunt in his assessment of the relationship: "The whole thing reminds me of the plot of the film King Ralph. You know, the one where an American comes over to be King of England and it doesn't quite work because he can't give up his love of hot dogs and pretzels. Well, that's Madonna. No amount of supping foaming pints of bitter could disguise the fact that she's a moaning old Yank."

By 2005, Madonna was already acknowledging the flaws in the relationship, while insisting it was worth saving. "My husband did not turn out to be everything I had imagined him to be," she said. "It's not easy having a good marriage, but I don't want easy. I thank God every day that I married a man who made me think."

She aired her disappointment weeks after she fell off her horse, breaking eight bones – an event, which observers believe marked a turning point in their relationship. Madonna felt let down because Ritchie dismissed the accident with British bravado, while she felt he should have been cosseting her.

The gulf widened the following year, as an international storm broke over David's adoption from Malawi. Madonna pressed ahead despite Ritchie's reservations and the revelation that the baby was not, in fact, an orphan. Public opprobrium was heaped upon the singer as she appeared to use her wealth and status to bypass normal bureaucratic procedures.

As Ritchie made a string of flops, and work commitments kept Madge in the US, any respect the couple had for each other seemed to ebb away. Soon there were rumours of affairs. Madonna was linked first to her producer Stuart Price, and then to New York baseball star Alex Rodriguez (although she dismissed both claims).

When Holy Moly ran its story claiming their divorce was imminent in June, Madonna's spokesman Liz Rosenberg "screamed blue murder", but many believed the couple were simply trying to eke out the last days of their marriage to ensure maximum publicity for various projects, including the release of Ritchie's RocknRolla, Madonna's latest album Hard Candy, and her directorial debut Filth And Wisdom.

As the months passed, even walking down the same red carpet seemed to place an intolerable strain on them. They fought over Madonna's desire to adopt another child. They fought over her desire to move the family to the US. Then – last month – Madonna stayed barely an hour at Ritchie's 40th birthday party at the couple's pub The Punch Bowl. It was all over bar the shouting.

Just how much shouting there's likely to be remains a matter of contention. News that Madonna has hired Fiona "Steel Magnolia" Shackleton – the lawyer who fought in Sir Paul McCartney's corner during his vicious divorce from Heather Mills – invoked the spectre of a no-holds-barred showdown over her 300m fortune and custody of Rocco and David.

Others insist the couple will want to avoid messy proceedings at all costs. "I find it really hard to believe Ritchie is interested in Madonna's money, because he has his own," says Davies. "And as for the children – Madonna has already shown herself to be a responsible mother in that regard. She has always made sure Lourdes was able to see her father (fitness instructor Carlos Leon]. I'm sure she and Guy will want this resolved as amicably as possible."

Perhaps. But it's difficult to see how the custody issue can be settled out of court when the couple are determined to live on opposite sides of the Atlantic. In the last few weeks, the pair have found it impossible to disguise the rancour they now feel for one another. It seems that – against their best intentions – their divorce is destined to descend into the same "three-ringed circus" Ritchie was so desperate to escape.

"She's obsessed with her own public image, obsessed with being seen as some kind of global soothsayer," Guy is said to have told friends. And introducing one of her songs at a concert in Boston on Thursday, Madonna could not resist taking a swipe. "This song is for the emotionally retarded," she told the 20,000-strong audience. "You might know a few people who fall into that category. God knows, I do."